`I’ve likened it to Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall,” said Mary Frances Lund, who lost her husband to colon cancer in 1992. “You put the pieces back together again, but they’re not the same.”
Married at 18 to her high school sweetheart, the 47-year-old Wilmington resident had to cope with her loss and with the knowledge she needed to create a new life for herself and her daughters, now 18, 24 and 26.
Reassembling the pieces of her life was a challenge that she did not have to face alone, thanks to a Romeoville-based program that provides support in cases like Lund’s, usually after a divorce or the death of a spouse. The Displaced Homemakers Program meets in churches and other facilities throughout Will County, conducting workshops that teach people how to return to school, get a job and become economically self-sufficient.
“The program is for people who have been dependent on someone else for their livelihood,” said Dana L. Penaherrera of Lockport, the program’s director.
The program, which began 15 years ago with federal funding, has allowed Lund to return to school in pursuit of a nursing degree, paying for her tuition and books. “It has been a godsend,” said Lund, who hadn’t worked outside the home during her marriage. “I’m working on my associate’s degree , and then I’m going to get my bachelor of science and my master’s degrees .”
Lund recalled how the program guided her after her husband died: “They gave me structure at a time when everything else had fallen apart. They told me everything I had to do to choose classes and register. That might seem like a simple thing, but when you’ve been away from an academic setting for 25 years, it’s not so easy.”
The program also helps participants with issues such as assertiveness, stress, time management and career planning.
Tammy Duffy, 27, had been living with her fiance, the father of her 10-month-old son, Immanuel, until six months ago, when he left her.
“I never thought I’d be raising my kids on my own,” Duffy said recently as she bounced her chubby young son on her knee. She also has a daughter, Kourtney, 10.
After taking the aptitude tests offered by the program, Duffy is working toward an associate degree in nursing with a focus on pediatric care.
“I want to work with kids,” she said. “And this way I’ll be able to work in a hospital and make money right away.”
Such concerns as getting a well-paying job as quickly as possible and setting achievable goals are part of the practical advice the program gives, Pennaherrera said. In 1994, the program assisted 300 walk-in clients who attended workshops or asked for advice and fielded calls from another 200 people looking for information. Penaherrera estimated that 3,500 clients, the large majority of them women, have been helped by the program since its inception.
The program’s state-funded, annual budget of $106,000 pays for the salaries of Penaherrera and three other staffers. They seek state and federal grants to cover the tuition and book fees, transportation costs and child care expenses of participants who return to school. Penaherrera said they also seek scholarships offered by local businesses or professional organizations. They complete an assessment of people who are seeking help to determine who is most in need.
Returning to school is usually part of the answer to finding a well-paying job, Penaherrera said. “This area used to be real strong for low-skill, high-paying jobs,” she said. “But those jobs are gone.”
Financial worries are the primary concern of Charlene Rose of Joliet. On a recent sweltering summer day, she attended a workshop with about a dozen other women who were working on writing resumes and cover letters.
A fan whirred in the background as they sat around a table discussing the challenge of starting a job search and such intricacies as the difference between a cover letter and resume.
“A cover letter provides more detail about who you are . You can tell them why you’re interested in the job and write more about your experience,” explained Lisa Murtaugh, one of Displaced Homemakers’ four staffers and the workshop leader.
Rose, who has a 10-year-old son, will begin studying Automated Systems Technology at Joliet Junior College next month. The program teaches the repair of robotics, electromechanical controls and pneumatic devices. According to Penaherrera, starting pay in the field ranges from $25,000 to $35,000 annually.
“I’ve always been geared to mechanics,” Rose said. “I take machines apart, put them together. It all adds up for me.”
Despite such awareness of her skills, Rose is worried that she will not be able to support herself and her son through the two-year program (clients are responsible for their own living expenses). “I’m feeling self-confident,” she said. “But at the same time, I’m feeling very insecure financially.”
Pointing to her resume and the previous mechanical courses she has taken, Rose said she hopes to get college credit for those.
After the workshop is over, Rose and others gather for a weekly support group meeting. “The support group lets them discuss the emotional issues we don’t let them discuss in the workshop because it bogs it down,” Penaherrera said.
“Sometimes people think they are the only one who knows this pain, who is suffering this humiliation, who used to have this lifestyle,” Penaherrera explained. At the support group, “they find comrades in arms.”
Margaret Duffy of Morris is one of the success stories for the Displaced Homemakers program. Duffy (no relation to Tammy Duffy) got a divorce in 1989 and got involved in the program the following year. The mother of two is now employed by Gateway Foundation working as an addictions counselor at the Dwight Correctional Facility in Dwight.
She said representatives of Displaced Homemakers “stuck with me throughout the five years it took me to get my degree. They gave me consistent financial help, and when I finished school, they helped me write my resume.
“They gave me more awareness of how to deal with stress and legal situations.”
Many participants have found a friend in Penaherrera. Lund, who was named 1995 female student of the year at Joliet Junior College, said she always gets a hand-written note of encouragement from Penaherrera after transcripts of her grades are sent to the Displaced Homemakers Program.
“It’s so nice to get that praise,” Lund said, “especially after my first semester when I killed myself to get A’s. That support and encouragement really matters to women who have gone through a traumatic experience and are working to become responsible members of the working world.”
Penaherrera is thrilled to be writing such congratulatory notes. She finds that her clients are often superior students.
“When these people come to us, they are looking for change,” she said. “They want to improve themselves. They know this is their second chance in life, and they fight for it.”
To contact the Displaced Homemakers Program, call 815-886-3324.
