`We all gravitate toward the stories that would apply to us. That’s one of the things that I like about the book so much: I see myself in it. I see myself as I was, two decades ago, idealistic, 20 years old, and then I see myself like the first story, a woman who goes off to India, in mid-life, and rediscovers herself.”
Marybeth Bond is speaking of “Travelers’ Tales: A Woman’s World” (Travelers’ Tales, Inc. $17.95), released last spring, for which she was the editor. The book is a collection of first-person accounts of women travelers.
“In the book you have the voices of all different women. Some are very tentative, shy travelers, stepping out for the first time. And then there are the real seasoned travelers. And there are stories that are very close to home: visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington or a mission in California. Things that could be done in an afternoon. For the woman who visits the Holocaust Museum, that is just as powerful for her as going to Italy and discovering your roots.
“The most important thing is that these are true stories. These are not historic women of means. These are women living in today’s world with today’s restraints upon them. Men, too, could get a great deal out of this.”
Bond, 43, grew up in Ohio and her parents were great travelers.
Bond’s independent travels–which she says are what gave her the confidence to believe in herself as an intrepid traveler–began when she was in college. She spent her junior year abroad, living in Luxembourg, and then went on to live in Paris for a while.
“I was in Europe as a student for a total of five years, and lived overseas for six years. I discovered my own freedom; on a very, very slim budget I found a way to go. I learned to stand up for my own rights.”
Bond says she also learned to fine-tune her sensibility to danger. “I hear the footsteps behind me from the moment I step out the door. I avoid danger. I always take enough extra money to get out of a tight spot–such as taking a taxi to get home late at night. Even if it’s only two blocks, I’m prepared to do that. I learned to trust my instincts.”
Bond says she was lucky, that nothing bad ever happened to her. “You know,” she says, “most areas of Paris are safer than the United States. But I heard one or two stories from friends and I realized where they had been foolish and where they hadn’t followed their instincts.
“Those years also taught me to have a dream to go after–again and again and again. I wanted a summer job in Paris when I was a student–me and everyone else–but I went to the American embassy and got a list of all the American companies in Paris and I didn’t give up until I got one.”
Bond returned to the United States to a career in marketing, but at the age of 30 she took off again. “It was that dream,” she says. “I hadn’t fulfilled those dreams I had as a child. I wanted to see Asia, for instance. And there are only certain windows of opportunity in your life when you can travel for extended periods of time with few responsibilities, and that was one of those times.”
She couldn’t find anyone appropriate to go with her and decided to go alone rather than give up the dream. “I was the type of person who never even went to the movies alone. I’d never had a dinner in a restaurant alone. When I traveled for business I had room service.”
Still, Bond bought a one-way ticket to Bangkok. “That represented all the freedom I wanted,” she says. “I’d been in the corporate lifestyle for years and I didn’t want a set itinerary, I didn’t want a return date. I wanted a one-way open ticket, and my focus of travel was to go to remote places to study cultures, which I couldn’t do in a two-week corporate vacation. I thought I’d be away one year; I was away for two.”
Bond says the toughest part of traveling alone is seeing something really beautiful and not having anyone to share it. And dealing with illness, when you have to take care of yourself. She says she had amebic dysentery when she was alone in Goa, India, on a day that happened to be Thanksgiving back home.
“I believe women, much more so than men, tend to be attached to home and family and traditions,” she says. “And usually women return to their roots, to their homes, for important holidays. So there I was, a foreign woman in a foreign land and I was alone; my whole family was together having turkey and a lot of camaraderie and I was very ill. That was a very hard time for me, but I had a real insight. I suddenly realized that I was grown up now and I could be comfortable anywhere in the world and I could take care of myself. That really led to a tremendous amount of inner strength.”
But, she says, on the other hand, when you travel alone, you don’t stay alone. “There’s a whole network of people traveling alone out there and you move in and out of relationships with travel buddies. And I don’t mean of the opposite sex, necessarily. You might travel with a couple. I traveled with one woman for a month, twice. And you have so many invitations and opportunities you wouldn’t have if you’re in a couple or a group: meeting local people, being invited into their homes. This is particularly true for women.
“But you still have to trust your instincts. Once I was standing on the edge of a road in Sri Lanka, in an area way up in the north that’s all closed now with their troubles, and I thought I was at a bus stop. This big station wagon with a man and six kids in it stopped. He told me it wasn’t a bus stop and offered to take me where I wanted to go. Now if he had been alone, I never would have gotten in, but since he had six kids with him, I did. Next thing you know, I’m invited to dinner, I’m invited to spend the night, he takes me with his brother to the school, I meet the teachers. If there had been two of us he probably wouldn’t have stopped.
“One of the advantages of being a woman is that we have the privilege of being easily welcomed into a home, or into an all-woman’s community like the women’s baths in Turkey or Morocco. All too often we focus on our fear and, as the introduction to the book says, the only thing that’s keeping women from traveling is their fear.”
Bond says, still, she has avoided all Muslim countries when traveling alone. “There’s enough of the world out there. I don’t need to take on a whole culture. And if I want to see these countries I can come back another time with a man or in a group. It’s important to do your homework: Read travel guide books and talk to women who have gone to the areas you’re interested in, so you can be aware of cultural taboos. Especially relating to Western dress, or what the men in the culture think of Western women.”
Much of Bond’s travel now is focused on her two young daughters, ages 4 and 7. “I travel locally with them,” says Bond, who now lives in the San Franscisco Bay area. “I have not taken them overseas yet. My parents showed me America when I was young, and I want to do the same for my children. It doesn’t have to be far. Over Easter break we took the train to Sacramento. It was a two-hour train trip; we spent an afternoon at Old Sacramento and went to the zoo. Adventure is in your own back yard. But I look forward to the day of taking them on an African safari. I can’t wait.”
Bond’s favorite trip, she says, was the year she spent in Asia, which included Tibet, Nepal and India.
“I love the Himalayan countries, and I love the Buddhist culture. The people are magnificent. I learned so much about peace and gentleness and giving through their example. You hike along the trail in the Himalayas. Someone approaches you with 70 pounds on their back. They have nothing in the world to give.
“They look up from this heavy load, look you in the eye, smile and say, `namaste,’ which means `the divine in me recognizes and salutes the divine in you.’ What a beautiful message, and that’s their `hello.’ And, of course, I met my husband in Nepal so it’s a very special place to me. I’ve been there eight or nine times.”
