It’s said that love always finds a way. For a growing number of southwest suburban families, the road to love now passes through the People’s Republic of China.
China is an increasingly popular destination for American families looking to adopt a child from overseas because, for both practical and cultural reasons, China welcomes potential adoptive parents who would be discouraged in the United States. For example, many adoption agencies in the U.S. require that at least one of the adoptive parents be under age 35, while the Chinese, with an ingrained reverence for age, prefer that adopting parents be at least 35.
Age was definitely a factor for Wayne and Nancy Palmquist of Oak Forest, who went to Fuzhou, Fujian Province, in March 1995 to pick up their daughter Lynn. Wayne, 44, said that part of the appeal of a Chinese adoption was that respectful attitude toward age.
“They really like people over 35,” he explained. “We have friends who tried adopting locally when they were in their late 30s and they had a lot of trouble.”
Joann and Robert Doubrawa of Palos Heights are another couple in their 40s. They recently adopted Elizabeth Dorothy Grace Doubrawa from China. The baby is now 17 months old.
“People here think we’re nuts, but over there they thought it was wonderful,” noted Joann, 42.
According to Robert McNeill, director of intercountry adoptions for Sunny Ridge Family Center in Wheaton, China provides an increasingly popular opportunity for childless couples or singles wanting to start a family. Because of population control policies that limit families to one child, more than 1.5 million children are abandoned annually in China. The overwhelming majority are girls, primarily because of a cultural preference for male heirs, especially in rural areas. McNeill said Chinese officials told him there are about 900 state-run orphanages spread across that country, many horrendously overcrowded by U.S. standards.
To take some of the pressure off its strained child welfare system, China officially began allowing adoption by foreigners in 1992. About 2,000 American families took home Chinese orphans last year, according to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou, China. There are now about 200 U.S. adoption agencies authorized by the Chinese government to handle these complex arrangements, according to Larry G. Betts, Sunny Ridge president. Five of these agencies are in the Chicago area, including Bethany Christian Services in Evergreen Park.
“China sees international adoptions as one of the ways they can improve the quality of care in their institutions,” Sunny Ridge’s McNeill said.
Some potential adoptive parents were concerned China would stop foreign adoptions because of the international condemnation that followed last summer’s release of a British film documentary that alleged chronic neglect in some orphanages. However, that fear seems unfounded, according to Betts. “It’s to the advantage of Chinese authorities to continue with adoptions,” he noted, because of the overcrowded conditions.
The opening of China has given a new opportunity to Americans who have encountered problems with a domestic adoption or aren’t interested in going that route. That was the situation for the Palmquists, who, according to Wayne, had no interest in pursuing a domestic adoption because of ongoing media coverage detailing the many problems within some elements of the local child-care system.
“Bonding is really critical for a child, and you read in the newspapers how these kids are moved from foster home to foster home,” he explained. “We didn’t like the idea of getting a child who had been bounced all over the place.”
Richard and Michelle Bubulka of Orland Park had similar concerns before adopting Cleo Anhui Bubulka, now 18 months. Well-publicized family tragedies such as the Baby Richard custody case had convinced them that a foreign adoption provided a safer alternative.
“The Baby Richard case was going on when we started looking into (adoption), so it seemed like a domestic adoption could fall through,” Richard recalled. “And with domestic adoptions, it seemed like complications could drive up the cost.”
The relative lack of legal entanglements in a foreign adoption is what makes that option so attractive, said Michaelyn Sloan, international program coordinator for Bethany Christian Services’ Evergreen Park office.
“I tell potential adoptive parents there is a child waiting for them at the end of all this paperwork. In terms of a domestic adoption, I can’t make that claim,” she said.
Adoption from China provides safeguards against such complications, according to Betts.
“All of the birth parents’ legal rights under Chinese law are terminated before a child is matched with an adoptive parent,” he explained.
The Bubulkas have a biological son and had been unsuccessful in their attempts to have another child. They were afraid that already having a child would hurt their chances for a domestic adoption. That concern was shared by Cindy and Paul Stark of Westmont, who have three biological children. They wanted to adopt because Cindy had been inspired during her college years by a friend who adopted two children and by the impact the adoption had on those children.
“Most domestic agencies prefer childless couples,” Cindy, 37, explained. “Besides, we didn’t want to take a placement away from a childless couple who had been on a waiting list for years.”
The process of adopting from China takes about six months, which is faster than other foreign adoptions and much quicker than the average domestic adoption. The applicant has to file with the Chinese government some 20 different documents that have been officially certified by county, state and federal agencies in the U.S. An American adoption agency is appointed to do an in-depth study of the applicant’s personal circumstances.
“The home study, which usually takes about three months, assesses the family’s abilities to deal with adoptive issues,” explained Pat Radley, director of adoptions for Lifelink/Bensenville Home Society. It also helps the prospective parents determine if they truly are ready for the responsibilities associated with parenting, Radley said.
According to Michelle Bubulka, the home study provided an opportunity for the couple to take the time to really decide what they wanted their family life to be like.
“It gave us some insights into things we took for granted,” she said. “Now we realize how important it is to watch Disney movies and eat popcorn together.”
Adoptive parents go to China individually or in small groups, depending on the arrangements made by the domestic adoption agency. The trip usually lasts 12 days and gives the new parents some insights into their child’s culture.
“If you haven’t been to China, it’s hard to understand how incredibly crowded it is,” Stark said. “It’s like Marshall Field’s the day after Thanksgiving.”
“It seems like there’s shouting and problems everywhere,” Palmquist recalled. “And people don’t queue. They push and shove to get something.”
Mealtime could be a real cultural experience, according to Joann Doubrawa.
“If it moves over there, they eat it,” she joked. She recalled one meal of roasted baby chicks, served with the heads still on.
Adopting from China is an expensive proposition. The fees for document preparation, legal services, home study and post-adoption services, all of which are done in the U.S., total about $6,000, according to McNeill. The costs on the Chinese end–orphanage fees, document translations and numerous in-China services–can run to some $7,000. By the time you add in airfare and lodging for the 12 days in China, he said, the total cost for a couple is approximately $19,500. A single person pays about $16,500.
By comparison, a domestic adoption may range from about $8,000 to $16,000.
Once back in the U.S., some families face medical and developmental issues related to their new child’s Chinese origins. The Starks’ adopted daughter, Nicole, needed antibiotics for a respiratory infection and, like many children from China, suffered some developmental problems.
“There was no heat in the orphanage, so they’d dressed Nicole in seven layers of clothing to keep her warm,” Cindy Stark explained. “She couldn’t move. Since there were so many children there, she got very little personal attention and stimulation. So, even though she was 9 months old, she couldn’t sit up, roll over or hold a rattle, all things you’d expect a normal child of that age to do.”
The other Stark children–Michael, 9; Lauren, 7; and Matthew, 4–have pitched in to address Nicole’s developmental needs.
Formal and informal networks of families formed through Chinese adoptions have sprung up. The Palmquists still meet every three or four months with the families who traveled to China with them. It’s a chance to share advice and help the kids keep in touch with their roots. The Palmquists also have become part of a grass-roots support group called Families with Children from China, which meets quarterly. According to Palmquist, the group has grown from 30 families to 120 in just one year. About two-thirds of the families already have children from China, while the remainder are either in the process of adopting or interested in learning more about the experience.
Despite the problems involved in a Chinese adoption, the families who have traveled to China are overwhelmingly positive about the experience. In fact, the Doubrawas plan to return to China this summer to adopt another child.
“We’re eager to get back there,” Joann Doubrawa said. She added that their son, 3-year-old Robbie, “just adores his sister.”
“He thinks she’s the greatest thing that ever happened,” she said.
The Palmquists don’t plan any additions to their family, but they’re just as high on adopting from China.
“If I had the money in my pocket, I’d go right now,” Wayne Palmquist said. “These kids are wonderful.”
