Real men don’t cry. And that may help explain why men generally don’t live as long as women, says Dr. William Frey, research director at HealthPartners’ Dry Eye and Tear Research Center at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center.
Frey, who has studied crying since 1979 and wrote a book on the topic in 1985, thinks shedding tears may be the body’s mechanism for flushing out some of the harmful chemicals produced during periods of stress, thereby breaking the chain of events that leads to heart disease and brain damage.
“The effects of stress on the heart and brain are becoming very clear,” Frey says. “While a lot of factors are involved, crying is one that should be investigated first.”
Scientists have yet to make direct connections between stress, tears, heart attacks and Alzheimer’s disease. But they are beginning to find some interesting hints.
For instance, researchers at Harvard have found that people who lose a friend, relative or loved one face a risk 14 times greater than normal of suffering a heart attack the day after the death, and five times the risk two days after the traumatic event.
The researchers theorize that atherosclerotic disease probably already had narrowed their arteries and that acute stress triggered a chain of physiological events that shut off the flow of blood to their hearts.
Although he’s only speculating, Frey believes that people who cry after such traumatic events are less likely to suffer heart attacks than those who don’t shed tears. He has offered to collaborate with the Harvard researchers on a study to determine whether that is indeed true.
Other studies show that stress triggers a series of hormonal releases that causes a 30 percent drop in glucose uptake in the hippocampus. Since glucose is the brain’s only source of energy, the drop causes brain cells to die, Frey said.
Scientists also know that stress reduces the production of a certain type of nerve growth factor found in the hippocampus by as much as 50 percent.
Called brain-derived neurotrophic factor, it is the same chemical that is diminished in patients with Alzheimer’s disease, says Frey, who also is research director for HealthPartners’ Alzheimer’s Treatment and Research Center at St. Paul-Ramsey and an assistant professor of psychiatry and neurology at the University of Minnesota.
Researchers also have found that steroids secreted by the adrenal glands during periods of stress lead to neuron loss in the hippocampus.
Finally, scientists have compiled impressive evidence suggesting that psychological stress increases a person’s susceptibility to upper-respiratory infections and can trigger an increased vulnerability to drug addiction.
Humans have devised a number of ways to reduce stress, Frey said. They include avoiding or getting out of stressful situations, exercising, participating in competitive sports or directing the mind to concentrate on something else.
But Frey believes there’s one more activity the human body can perform to counteract the negative effects of stress: shed tears.
“No other animal we know of cries tears in response to pain or emotional stress,” Frey said. “We don’t see tears running out of their eyes. It’s the only physiological process that humans have that other animals don’t. It’s something that makes us human.”
Scientists don’t know why people developed the ability to cry, but Frey thinks it’s an adaptive response to stress. For instance, surveys he’s conducted over the years show that 85 percent of women and 73 percent of men say they feel better after they cry.
Although famed evolutionist Charles Darwin recognized the soothing effects of crying, he didn’t think tears played a role in the process.
Frey disagrees. In fact, he believes people feel better after crying because their tears wash away chemicals that built up during stress.
“When people talk about `crying it out,’ they literally may be doing just that,” he said. “Crying appears to be the body’s natural reaction to stress, so it must be doing something.”
“Stress can kill you, and yet parents are trying to teach their children not to cry, which is a natural reaction to stress,” Frey says.
Not surprisingly, Frey frequently gets calls from men seeking help because they have just experienced a traumatic event and have discovered that they can’t cry.
“They haven’t forgotten how to cry,” Frey said; their tear glands have become stymied by a lifetime of anti-crying conditioning.
Although he has no studies to back him up, Frey believes that the men’s inability to cry increases their risk of developing stress-related disorders.
So what should parents be doing with their children?
“We should be teaching children that it’s OK and natural to cry,” he says. “We should show sympathy, empathy and offer help, but we shouldn’t be telling them to stop crying.”
