Deep down there’s an advice columnist in all of us just itching to come out. Here are some of the tips you’ve been offering lately. . .
Felicia: “Here is some advice I dispense regularly: Don’t be surprised if a man you meet in a bar likes to drink. Any guy who starts with, `I’m not the typical kind of guy you usually meet,’ is. They do not get better when you marry them and you can’t love them out of their problems. If a man makes you afraid and you don’t know why, run.”
Sandra: “I have met a lot of jerks. They all start out as nice guys but the act soon diminishes and the real monster comes out. Most men you meet now are takers or looking for that mommy figure to take care of them. They want you to spoil them, do for them and cater to their every whim, and they give very little or nothing in return. . . . If they walk out once they will surely do it again, but only if you allow it to happen.”
Joe: “Have some commonality but share some variety. I like pizza crust, but a girl I dated didn’t. It was the little things that were different that kept us from being so horribly bored with each other. Our beliefs and values were so similar, it was spooky. But it was our differences in music and other things that helped us bond. She could plan at the drop of a hat and I had to have every contingency covered in a written form four weeks ahead of time. She was a breath of fresh air in my life.”
Jerome: “Women who think game playing is the way to ensnare a man are reading the wrong Bibles. I might be turned on by a woman who plays hard to get for a few weeks, but in the end, not knowing how she really feels will keep me away from her, not draw me closer.”
Katie: “Never share anything intimate or personal about yourself with a man until you’ve been together a year. I remember telling a guy I was seeing how much I like having my feet rubbed. When we broke up, I was mortified every time I saw people he knew. I felt like all these people probably know something about me that was not their business.”
Steve: “Don’t get involved with a woman with kids unless you are absolutely certain that this is the woman for you. I stayed in a rotten relationship for two years just because I couldn’t bear hurting this woman’s kids. They didn’t have contact with their real father and I didn’t want to inflict another loss on them. I was tired of the woman, but I loved those kids. They’re gone now and I miss them.”
Kathy: “When you’re dating a man over 50, you’re getting a man with probably 30 years of romantic history. Don’t think you’re going to change anything about him. You’re getting something flawed, chipped, dyed, sprayed and redone. Inside, you may find a diamond or a piece of glass.”
Ken: “Never go out with a woman who has two kids with two different last names, wants to name her kids Sky and Star, and thinks you’re her last chance.”
Crystal: “I met the most wonderful man in the world during a time when I felt I’d be alone forever. Later my husband of eight years walked off with his secretary. I could have sat at home feeling sorry for myself, but I made myself exercise and stay active. I took night classes. I made plans with my friends. Six months into this regimen, I met Dwayne at a class on the stock market. Now I tell my friends who stay at home feeling sorry for themselves, get out there, force yourself to be busy.”
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Can a relationship that started out bad ever get good? Send your tale to Cheryl Lavin, Tales From the Front, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters can be used for any purpose and become the property of the column.
