Recently Tribune columnists have wondered why there was the outpouring of flowers during the passings of Princess Diana, Mother Teresa and Sir Georg Solti, when words or donations to memorial funds would have been so much better. Why couldn’t people do all of these things?
Many times I have read how to say or write the correct thing or behave the correct way, and then later read or heard how insulted people were by this supposedly “correct” behavior.
Death is a scary subject for many people, one not often dealt with, and how to convey our feelings to others is often a frustrating mystery. Will what I say or write sound dumb? Will my donation seem less than substantial? How do I put a dollar amount on my love or friendship?
Often flowers are the easiest way to convey our feelings. They tell us that life does go on and that there is beauty in the world even though it seems dark and cold right now. Flowers also tell us how truly special our loved one was and that we are not alone in our grief.
Rather than telling us what is “correct” to do in your eyes, perhaps the best advice writers can give us is that we should think with our hearts and do what our hearts tell us is right. If you do that, no one can blame you for anything less.
