Last week we met Diane. In her youth, which ended at 31, she knocked down one guy after another. She worked hard to be independent and she was. But now, at 35, she feels time has passed her by. The men she meets are “rejects.” There’s something wrong with every one of them. “I really think it’s over for me,” she says. Here are some of your responses to Diane.
Juliette: “How totally clueless can a person be? The only guys who look good are the old boyfriends. Everyone she meets now is a reject. There’s something wrong with guys her age or older, but younger guys take too much time. I think we all know where the real problem is! But, here’s the real reason I wrote: Why do single 35-year-old women always think they look like they are 28? P.S. I am a 45-year-old lawyer who met my 36-year-old husband seven years ago, at the ripe old age of 38. I, too, was independent and attractive (though I didn’t look 28!). We have a 6-year-old. They were worth the wait.”
Lizabeth: “I am so sorry for Diane who at 35 thinks it is all over. How pathetic! I will turn 35 this month and I am considerably more positive. She makes 35 sound so old. Maybe it is for her. It sounds to me like she really still has no idea what she wants. And maybe she ought to consider what she has to offer. She sounds selfish! I’m still looking and it isn’t easy, but I have faith that there is someone for me.”
Chuck: “Diane has to be one of the most shallow, self-centered people on the face of the Earth. She’s still looking for Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet. She envisions herself as Superwoman, and she’s looking for Superman. Well, guess what? Even Superman belches after meals, forgets things at the store, breaks wind in bed and develops Superman-sized hemorrhoids. They just leave that part out of the comic books.
“Diane says she’s accomplished everything she wanted to do by age 35. What’s she going to do for the next 40-50 years? Sit around and complain about how life has passed her by? Oh, that’s attractive. When she gets to age 75, she can always write back to you and claim that she doesn’t look a day over 68.”
Bill: “Diane spent her post-high school days shaping herself into an independent woman. Great. Now what? Last I heard nobody was giving out guarantees on life’s nuances. I am older and have been married twice. My experience has been that you make choices and you live with them. My first wife passed away. My second marriage lasted nine years. I no longer care about getting involved. Why bother when I can do what I want, when I want and where I want? Romance is dead. What happened to real love? Does it exist anymore? I miss it. Maybe Diane will get to this point also.”
Kenny: “You’re out of time? Wait till you’re 41! I just had my birthday and haven’t slept since! Yes, it is different for a woman — biological clock and all, but a man still has some worries. Not that he may not be attractive to younger woman, but that maybe it is too late for him to attract a woman who is ready to settle down and have a family. At this age, the people you tend to run into through friends and chance meetings are usually married, unmarried with children (but no more please).”
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If your partner wanted to have “just lunch” with an old flame, what would you say? Send your reply, along with your relationship tales and questions to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the Front, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611 or e-mail clavin@tribune.com. All names are changed. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part for any purpose. and become the property of the column.
