Day 8: Phoenix to the Grand Canyon (273 miles)
Bill: I had pictured this stop as a great moment in Hageman family history: Mom and Dad showing the Grand Canyon to the girls, who’d be ooohing and aaahing as they soaked up its grandeur. Well, Dona and I were dazzled by the canyon, but Kelly and Katie were largely unimpressed, and Julie–because of a sore back–was barely able to get out of the mini-van to look at it. Yes, the place was crowded and it was warm, and we’re all getting tired of each other’s company. But their lack of enthusiasm was surprising.
Dona: I was blown away by the drive through Sedona, without a doubt the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. We’d been told that it was gorgeous, but even so, we weren’t prepared for it and kept stopping to take pictures (much to the girls’ unhappiness). Once we got to the Grand Canyon, I was impressed by the crowds. All these people from all over the world, all these different languages being spoken, and they were all there for the same thing. We drove along the south rim, then took the Desert View drive, making stops all along the way.
Kelly: It has become painfully apparent that my parents are canyon fiends. The Grand Canyon was really wonderful, considering that we were all in terrible moods and kept snapping at each other. It was a very interesting sight. But did we really have to see it from every possible angle? Oh well, it was an experience. To anyone reading this, I’m sure that the three of us kids sound like whining, ungrateful brats. I’m really happy to have this opportunity-not many people get a chance to see so much of the country. But think of your own family and all the little things they do to annoy you. Now imagine you and your family and all of their annoying quirks all crammed into a mini-van for two weeks. See what I’m getting at here?
Julie: I think I pulled a muscle in my back while running around the water park yesterday. So, unfortunately, I’m in a lot of pain. I missed most of the Grand Canyon (I wanted to stay in the van, stretched out on the back seat) and going out to dinner (I asked them to bring me something back to the room). What I did see of Sedona and the Grand Canyon was gorgeous.
Katie: Today was stupid. We went to the Grand Canyon, which wasn’t all that grand. It was way too crowded, was full of tourist traps, and everything was way too expensive. Everyone is really tense. When we got to the hotel, Kelly found that it had a machine in the lobby that you could use to get on the Internet. Big trouble. But the machine wouldn’t take cash, only credit cards. She was so mad, I thought her head was going to explode.
Day 9: Grand Canyon, Ariz., to Las Vegas (274 miles)
Bill: We had another of those pleasant surprises today when we reached Williams, Ariz. We were looking for a place to have breakfast, and Julie saw a little hole-in-the-wall diner, Grand Canyon Coffee and Cafe. It was the perfect stop–good food, reasonable prices, friendly service, charming atmosphere–and, Tulsa notwithstanding, proved my theory about eating in local establishments over fast-food joints. We liked Williams so much, in fact, that we hung around another couple of hours to do laundry. The girls put the time to good use, reading the tabloids and calling home to check on the dogs. . . . I was interested to see Las Vegas. I’d never been there–or to any casino, for that matter. And at first glance, it looked like a lot of fun. But after wandering around and playing the slots for a couple of hours, I kind of lost interest. Maybe if I hit a huge jackpot I would have gotten excited (I lost about $40). But there was no thrill.
Dona: We reached Las Vegas around 3:15; the temperature was 115. I walked through the casino several times and hated it. The crowds, the noise and the flashing lights irritated my every fiber. Our room was very clean and the food was great. But the whole gambling concept was wasted on me. . . . Julie’s still sick. Bill went looking for the Walgreens to get her some Tylenol for a headache. She was too miserable (bad back, no appetite, tired, light-headed) to go to dinner with us, so we hit a buffet and brought her something back from a fast-food place in the hotel. I wish she’d start feeling better. A parent can’t enjoy a vacation when you’ve got a sick kid.
Kelly: Grand Canyon, Ariz., was bad enough in terms of crowds, prices and an overall lack of cleanliness that as we left, I felt justified in repeating my favorite Homer Simpson quote: “So long, Stinktown!” And, oh, was it fitting. I’m never leaving Chicago again.
Katie: Today we drove to Las Vegas. The wedding chapels and nudie places were everywhere. It’s weird and really scary, and the people here never sleep. But I have found a job that I want– want to be a witness in a wedding chapel. Big bucks and a lot of people to make fun of.
Day 10: Las Vegas to San Diego (335 miles)
Bill: I knew I was in California when I heard a radio commercial for calamari burritos. None of us was particularly sad to leave Las Vegas. I think it was a combination of road weariness, the kids’ lack of interest in video games (the main children’s entertainment) and Dona and my lack of interest in gambling (the main adult entertainment). Can’t say we hated it, but we were unmoved. Maybe we’re just numb from all the traveling. . . . We headed through the California desert, stopping in Baker, where we saw the world’s largest thermometer–111 degrees at 10:30 a.m.–outside the Bunboy Restaurant. There was also a Bunboy Motel. And a huge sign proclaiming this Bunboy Country. We snapped a lot of photos. You take your vacation highlights where you can find them. . . . We had hoped to do something in San Diego–the zoo or Sea World, perhaps–but we got a late start from Vegas and with Julie feeling crummy, we changed our plans. We decided just to check out the city itself. But we didn’t even get to do that. Most of what I saw of San Diego was from behind the wheel as we tried to find the hotel after getting another prescription filled (checked my blood pressure at the pharmacy; it was 110/100). From the expressways in the dark at 75 miles an hour, it looked like a lovely place. We’re all feeling badly about Julie being so miserable. Even, incredibly, her sisters.
Julie: I have a rash! I woke up with a bad rash and started feeling worse. When we got to San Diego, we had to have a doctor come to the hotel room. He thought I was having an allergic reaction to the medicine I got in Tulsa. He said I had a 101-degree fever and looked like a little pink shrimp, and he gave us another prescription to try.
Dona: We had lunch at a roadside restaurant on the way to San Diego. The funniest thing anyone has said in the last week came from Katie afterward: “I wanted chili fries, but I figured I’d wait till we got home, where we have a decent bathroom.” . . . I’m ready to go home,too, but for different reasons. I miss our big, old spooky house. Enough new. And I miss my dog.
Day 11: San Diego to Santa Monica, Calif. (142 miles)
Dona: Julie’s rash was much worse this morning–bright red, and from head to toe. We called the doctor’s office again and a nurse suggested taking her to a nearby urgent care facility, which, it turned out, was located next door to a strip joint. The doctor suspected mono and performed a blood test. (The results came back negative the next day.)
Bill: Before leaving San Diego, we did two final loads of laundry and went to yet another pharmacy (135/73). Today we had another time-consuming drive because we went through the beach communities along the Pacific Coast Highway on the way to Santa Monica. Places like Laguna Beach were charming–we had plenty of time to gawk as traffic flowed through town at 5 miles an hour–but the family’s mini-vantolerance has diminished greatly in the last three or four days. The sighs and eye-rolling and radio battles are quick to surface. Early in the trip, I noticed how the kids’ moods changed in the mini-van over the course of a day. At first everyone was pleasant. Then they’d all get quiet. Then crabbiness would start creeping in. And finally there’d be silliness, like everyone was punchy. Now, though, they go from being civil to crabby in about a half-hour. By the end of today’s four-hour trek to Santa Monica, there were no smiles. But once we checked into our hotel on the beach, and hooked up with some old friends from Chicago, moods improved dramatically.
Kelly: Before I left for this trip, my best friend Nicol told me that I would love California. I had my doubts at first, but she was right. It’s great here. We saw Mel Brooks’ house in Santa Monica and had a wonderful dinner in Venice. I tried this stuff called sashimi. I think I have a new addiction. And yes, I know it’s raw salmon.
Day 12: Santa Monica
Bill: The travel part of our journey is over, thank God. Today we just enjoyed southern California. Went to breakfast on the beach in Santa Monica, then opted to skip Hollywood and L.A. (touristy and sleazy, according to our friends), going instead to the Santa Monica Pier and driving around Malibu and various O.J. Simpson sites. Oh, we also had a celebrity sighting: comedian Richard Lewis.
Dona: I had to see the ocean to compare it to the Atlantic, where I grew up. They’re pretty much the same, but the Pacific has more kelp floating in it and the beach is a lot wider than what I was used to. . . . Julie’s rash has just about disappeared and she’s starting to show a little life. . . . We spent our last night in California having pizza and beer with our friends and their dog, Bammie. It was a great way to close out the trip.
Julie: We saw a lot of Santa Monica, Brentwood and Malibu and it’s really gorgeous. But as nice as it is (and as badly as I want to live here), I’m very ready to go home.
Katie: I finished up the shopping that I had to do for my friends Sadie, Eric and Meghan, and for myself. I hope they like magnets.
Day 13: Los Angeles to Chicago
Bill: One last glitch, then it was off to Chicago. The attendant at the car-rental place didn’t believe me when I told him I wanted to return the mini-van. He said it wasn’t one of his company’s vehicles. I had to show him the rental contract to get him to believe me.
Dona: Katie had never flown before and I knew she was afraid, but it turned out to be a perfect flight. The girls enjoyed it–I almost got a smile out of Julie. She even spoke to me. It was so good to walk in our front door. I snagged a beer out of the fridge and just walked around savoring the best place on the planet Earth. I most look forward to getting my underwear out of a dresser drawer rather than a suitcase. Would I do this again? Ask me later.
Kelly: Finally, we’re going home. My final road kill count: 22. My final shoe count: 5, and only two of them were a pair. Vacation is nice and everything, but I’m looking forward to our house more than anything. Chicago, here I come.
Katie: The trip was pretty cool, but I want to be home forever. I want to be in my room for two weeks. I’m only going on vacation again if we can go to Canada. Canadians rule, eh?
Julie: It’s good to be home! The flight wasn’t bad–I actually liked it. Overall, I wish my health had been better so we could have done more, but a bunch of things stand out as highlights for me: the brewery tour; seeing and meeting such different people, like in southern Texas; meeting family I’d never met before, Santa Monica and the beach, and seeing things I would never see back home, like palm trees, cacti and dust storms.
The first question everyone asked us when we got back was, How was it? The second: Would you do it again?
We all pretty much agree that it was fun. The kids saw a lot of things for the first time–from the Dixie Trucker’s Home to the Pacific Ocean. Not to mention The Thing.
Sure, things didn’t always go as we’d hoped, and we didn’t see everything we wanted, and Julie’s cold/sinus infection/allergic reaction took some of the fun out of the trip, especially for her. But when you take a family trip like this, you have to roll with the punches. And I think we did.
Would we do it again? Sixty percent of the family would. Another 20 percent of the group could be classified as neutral, and the other 20 percent will probably never get in a mini-van again.
Was it worth doing? Oh, yeah. Julie’s going off to college in a month. Kelly now has a job and a boyfriend. And Katie’s growing up fast. We might never have a chance to do something like this together again. It was an adventure worth trying.
I just wish we’d checked to see if Mel Brooks was home.
