The same night the Rev. Jesse Jackson revealed the stunning news that he had an affair with an aide and fathered a child out of wedlock, the reality television show “Temptation Island” on the Fox network won its time slot.
The new show features four unwed but “committed” couples who visit a Caribbean island with 26 singles chosen for their seductive qualities. Thus, temptation. Although most television critics have slammed the show, it’s a hit with the viewing masses.
Infidelity is a fascinating subject because many of us have faced temptation in our struggle with the ideal of monogamy.
This notion of one exclusive mate is sanctified by religious dogma in Western culture and matrimony transforms infidelity into adultery. Although good figures on marital infidelity are hard to come by, most experts cite the work of Alfred Kinsey and his disciples who have estimated that adultery occurs in 50 to 70 percent of all marriages. Some recent surveys place the number lower, but most experts in the field think Kinsey’s percentages are closer to the truth. All research has found that men are more likely to cheat than women, although recent studies are finding that the gap is narrowing.
Whatever the percentages are, this largely private issue has become very public in recent years. Not only has Bill Clinton, the leader of the world’s lone superpower, been caught with his pants down, so to speak, but many of the nation’s most visible men also have suffered the same fate. If we go back into history the names of our philandering heroes probably would fill this entire section of the Chicago Tribune; indeed the nation’s most celebrated founding father, Thomas Jefferson, was also the father of several children born out of wedlock. But in just the last few years, admired men like Bill Cosby, evangelist Jimmy Swaggert, New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Milwaukee Mayor John Norquist, U.S. Rep. Henry Hyde, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and his almost-successor, Bob Livingston, and many more have faced public embarrassment (and worse) because of revealed extramarital flings.
All of the above listed names undoubtedly were aware of the dangers posed by their tryst, yet they risked them. We condemn them for their lack of control but we also think: There, but for the grace of God, go I. The bigger question is why do males throughout history continuously get involved in this foolish risk-taking?
Some anthropologists and evolutionary psychologists argue that the proclivity to roam is hard-wired into men. They contend that men “cheat” because they are driven by biological imperative to spread their genes as far and wide as humanly possible. In other words, men are genetically programmed for promiscuity.
Females, on the other hand, must potentially invest much more time in the consequences of a sexual coupling (nine months of pregnancy and many years of child rearing). Because of that they must be much more selective in their choice of partner. Ideally, he should have both the financial and genetic “fitness” to insure the healthy survival of their offspring. Most of the world’s cultures candidly accommodate these differing reproductive strategies. This culture does it as well, though not quite as candidly. “Is our form of marriage, lifelong monogamy, the norm?” asks anthropologist Alexander Christensen in the June 3, 2000 edition of the Internet e-zine, About. “No. In fact, only a third of human societies are monogamous. Cross-culturally, if any one form of marriage can be called `normal’ for humans, it is polygyny, the marriage of one man to multiple women,” he said.
Of course, none of this justifies cheating. Human animals also are cultural beings and the boundaries that culture places on human behavior are the defining contours of civilization. I’m sure that Jackson, Clinton, Gingrich, Hyde and all the other men who got busted cheating (and the millions who aren’t yet busted) would agree that they are not simple puppets of their genetic urges. In fact, one of the reasons Jackson’s admission was so disappointing was his role as the moral tutor for millions of young people desperately seeking models of civilized behavior.
But we need intelligent context to understand our world. Acknowledging humanity as biological phenomena is not giving license to “immoral” behavior or denying our spiritual nature. On the contrary, it is utilizing our God-given ability to analyze reality with intelligence and maturity.
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E-mail: salim@aol.com
