Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and people across the country will be celebrating with loved ones in countless ways.
But for lesbians and gay men, this day is bittersweet.
It is a poignant reminder that we are shunned from the institution that provides the most basic array of social recognition and legal protections: marriage.
Even as society makes important strides toward respect and acceptance of gay people, our most important, loving relationships are classified as second-class and unworthy of vital legal status. For this reason, a new day of celebration is taking on growing importance.
Feb. 12 is National Freedom to Marry Day. Coupling Lincoln’s Birthday and Valentine’s Day, it is a day about love and equality.
This year, the 4th annual National Freedom to Marry Day will be celebrated in dozens of communities across the country, as people demonstrate their support for ending discrimination against gay men and lesbians in civil marriage. More than ever, gay people need the non-gay community to join in supporting those ideals. Fortunately, key support is coming from religious corners.
Here in Illinois, for example, Rev. Gregory Dell is back in the pulpit and still supporting lesbian and gay couples.
In 1998, he boldly challenged conservative church members by officiating at the union of two men in a loving, committed relationship. For this courageous stand–an act of conscience against church-sponsored discrimination — he suffered a one-year suspension from the United Methodist Church.
He and other religious leaders are at the forefront of the struggle to expand respect and support for same-sex couples who wish to share lifelong love and responsibility for each other.
Civil marriage is a gateway to equality: the right to medical decision-making for a loved one, parenting rights, access to insurance, inheritance protections, immigration rights and hundreds of other legal protections. The act of getting married is invested with public, historical and spiritual significance, and is emotionally charged for the individuals involved, as well as society. Until same-sex couples have the freedom to marry, discrimination in civil marriage will remain a profound barrier to achieving complete equality for lesbians and gay men.
Overcoming that barrier will be no easy task, but on National Freedom to Marry Day, we can all reflect on how far we’ve come in just a few short years.
In 1996, a Hawaii court found that there is no good reason to ban gay people from civil marriage, thus opening this national dialogue. Since then, two-thirds of the public have told national pollsters that it is inevitable that same-sex couples will be able to marry, and a majority of Americans now support extending to lesbian and gay couples at least the same protections and benefits already given to married couples.
Last year, Vermont made history by instituting civil unions for lesbian and gay couples, offering state-level protections parallel to marriage. Considering it took until 1967 for the U.S. Supreme Court finally to overturn state bans on interracial marriage, the struggle to win the freedom to marry has occurred in just a historical blink of an eye. Discussion and visibility of this civil rights issue are moving public opinion closer to the ideals of National Freedom to Marry Day.
At this time of year, when many of us stop to think about our loved ones, we also think beyond the purely sentimental. When we do, we can see that the protections, recognitions and responsibilities under law as afforded non-gay couples are due lesbian and gay couples as well.
Here in Chicago, religious and other community leaders are observing National Freedom to Marry Day with an interfaith program and signing of the Marriage Resolution, making a public declaration of their support for same-sex couples seeking the freedom to marry. National Freedom to Marry Day events remind us that gay and non-gay people must come together to be heard in this call for equality, from Hawaii to Vermont and certainly in the Land of Lincoln.
Each of us who believes in justice must spread the message that allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry is most certainly the right thing to do.
