So many movies, so little time . . .
Let’s deconstruct, shall we?
The Chicago on Screen club: “Hardball,” “Novocaine,” “On the Line,” “Ali.”
The Oscar-winning Actors club: Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind,” Anthony Hopkins in “Hearts in Atlantis” and “Bad Company,” Kevin Spacey in “K-Pax” and “The Shipping News,” Denzel Washington in “Training Day,” Nicolas Cage in “Windtalkers,” Michael Douglas in “Don’t Say a Word,” Gene Hackman in “The Royal Tennenbaums,” Kevin Kline in “Life as a House.”
The Oscar-winning Actresses club: Hilary Swank in “The Affair of the Necklace,” Julia Roberts in “Ocean’s 11,” Gwyneth Paltrow in “Shallow Hal” and “The Royal Tennenbaums,” Sissy Spacek in “In the Bedroom.”
The Give Me an Oscar Already club: Jim Carrey in “The Majestic,” Tom Cruise in “Vanilla Sky,” Will Smith in “Ali.”
The Give Me an Oscar Already club (directors’ division): Martin Scorsese (“Gangs of New York”), Lasse Hallstrom (“The Shipping News”), Frank Darabont (“The Majestic”), Michael Mann (“Ali”), Robert Altman (“Gosford Park”), Ron Howard (“A Beautiful Mind”).
The I Got My Oscar, Now I’m Gonna Have Fun club (directors’ division): Steven Soderbergh (“Ocean’s 11”).
Get in line, kids: “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” “The Fellowship of the Ring,” “Monsters, Inc.,” “Max Keeble’s Big Move,” “Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.”
Get out the way, kids: “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” “The Fellowship of the Ring.”
Be afraid, be very afraid: “Joy Ride,” “From Hell,” “The Glass House,” “Brotherhood of the Wolf.”
Be afraid for different reasons: “Corky Romano,” “Not Another Teen Movie.”
The Get a New Title club: “Thir13een Ghosts,” “Not Another Teen Movie.”
The Don’t Know What It Means But It’s a Cool Title club: “Vanilla Sky.”
The Truth in Advertising club: “Vulgar.”
The Synonyms club: “Serendipity,” “Happenstance.”
The Billy Bob Thornton festival: “Waking up in Reno,” “Bandits,” “The Man Who Wasn’t There,” “Monster’s Ball.”
The Leelee Sobieski festival: “The Glass House,” “Joy Ride,” “My First Mister.”
The Wipe Off the Dust and Release It Already club: “Impostor,” “Joy Ride,” “Waking Up in Reno.”
The Wipe Off the Dust and Release It Already club (the still-not-scheduled-for-release division): “Daddy and Them,” written and directed by and starring, yes, Billy Bob Thornton. (He made it before “All the Pretty Horses.”)
The Marky Mark Honorary “If He Can Cross Over, I Can Too” club: Snoop Dogg in “Bones” and “The Wash,” ‘N Sync members Lance Bass and Joey Fatone in “On the Line.”
