How about that great Hubble Space Telescope photo (above) that NASA released last week. It shows a pillar of gas and dust called the Cone Nebula, which resides in a turbulent star-forming region 2,500 light-years away. Whatever. The Tempo Subcommittee on Crass Commercialism thinks it’s just a super graphic image rife with moneymaking potential. Here are some of our ideas for putting the universe to work for the U.S. economy (patents pending):
– Nebula-Man Action Figure: Here he comes to save the day, traveling at the speed of light. (Unfortunately he always arrives 2,500 years too late.)
– “Joy to the Nebula” Christmas ornaments. Why limit our yuletide good wishes to just Earth?
– Black light posters (duh!) to be sold at Spencer Gifts.
– The Cone Nebula Roman Candle (“More Big Bang for your buck”).
– New wallpaper art (to replace your old Rocky Mountain forest scene).
– Airbrush design for customized vans.
– Album cover art for “The Best of YES” (No, really!).
– New Good Humor product: The Ice Cream Cone Nebula, a pillar of chocolate ice cream sprinked with sugary dust.
– T-shirts that read, “I’m with gassy.”
– Coffee mug with the image on it along with the message “Wake up and smell the Nebula.”
– Humorous greeting card: On the front, “You are the universe to me.” Inside, “Just a giant pillar of gas and dust!”
