Let me get this right: The Cardinals are accusing the Cubs of tipping pitch locations to a guy the Cardinals are afraid to pitch to in the first place?
Yeesh. That would be weak if Terry Bevington came up with it.
The Cardinals are either admitting they’re too lame to conceal pitch locations or Tony La Russa’s gang is officially out of ideas. Let’s vote.
If I’m the Cubs, I lean into Matt Morris’ first inside pitch and maybe get him suspended for comments about ear-holing somebody.
That would give him time to fill out that application for Mensa.
Bobby Hill said he got no sleep and showed up at Wrigley with a bunch of wrinkled clothes. Got to love a kid who treats his major-league debut like it’s spring break.
Two words for Juan Cruz: strike three.
Jason Bere seemed bothered by all the Mark Prior talk, presumably because Prior could take his spot in the rotation. This after Bere lost at home to a team with a worse road record than the tollway authority.
For the record, Bere has one more major-league victory than Prior this year.
Raise your hand if you think Bere should worry more about keeping the ball in the park than keeping the phenom out of it.
Bill Mueller, your table is ready.
I understand how injuries and non-production prompted Don Baylor to bat Sammy Sosa fourth Friday, but I would leave him third because I would want him to hit in the first inning, no matter what, especially with the way he pounds the Brewers and the way the Brewers seem to give up more runs in the first inning than some teams give up in a season.
The Cubs began the weekend in fifth place in the worst division in baseball, but hey, at least they had matched the Bears’ victory total.
Yankees wisp Alfonso Soriano hit nearly as many home runs Wednesday as Fred McGriff has all season.
Is it only cold when everybody except Sosa and Corey Patterson hits? I guess you can’t tell the weather without a scorecard.
Here’s why I think the White Sox are primed: Four of their top five hitters were batting .300 or better heading into Anaheim, and the fifth hitter was Frank Thomas, who will take out his April frustrations on May.
Here’s your Monday, Sox fans: Jon Garland blew a three-run lead in the first inning in Texas and the bullpen blew the game altogether. Meanwhile, Josh Fogg was beating Randy Johnson.
Jerry Manuel said he wouldn’t be surprised if Albert Belle came back from the hip injury that sent him into retirement, and I’m thinking, is there a team that has a hole at jerk?
Joaquin Benoit?
Carlos Lee has no more business playing the ninth inning than Mel Rojas did.
Arizona Cardinals coach Dave McGinnis, telling the Arizona Republic about 372-pound tackle Leonard Davis: “I think he was born at 370.”
In a surprise as big as their 96-point season, the Blackhawks have told their season reservation-holders that they won’t be raising prices, at least not for those in the lower level. Not sure about prices for individual-game purchases.
Allen Iverson can’t figure out how practicing would help his teammates get better. Iverson and his teammates lost in the first round. Connect the dots.
Trail Blazers guard Damon Stoudamire and his father face felony charges of marijuana possession. If convicted, Stoudamire would be a chip off the old skunk bud.
Mike Tyson fired his public relations firm.
Mike Tyson had a public relations firm?
Tip from Chris Stevenson of SLAM Sports Web site: “One of the little-known talents of Canada’s Larry Walker of the Colorado Rockies–he can belch the alphabet.”
Wait a minute. I think the Sixers just called another news conference.
“Tonight Show” host Jay Leno, on Denver quarterback Brian Griese, who hurt himself in a fall at a party at teammate Terrell Davis’ house: “A 12-pack of Coors was credited with the sack.”
