Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend, “Hoyt,” for just under two years. I am 17 and he is 19. We have a wonderful relationship. We love each other very much and want to be together for the rest of our lives. But there’s a problem:
We need to focus on our futures. Ideally, I’d spend four years at an East Coast art school. Hoyt needs to stay on the West Coast and develop his musical career. We want to be together, but we also know it’s important for each of us to develop our talents.
Hoyt wants me to go to art school, and I want him to be the musician he dreams of being, but the thought of being 3,000 miles away from each other for four years scares and depresses us.
Abby, do you think it is possible for us to follow our dreams without losing the love we have for each other?
— Found True Love In Oregon
Dear Found True Love: I certainly do. With your level of maturity and concern for each other’s futures, you can make a long-distance romance work. You can communicate via e-mail, phone calls and letters, and see each other on vacations. Sharing how you are each progressing toward your dreams will draw you closer.
Dear Abby: My fiance’s 13-year-old daughter, “Cameron,” stays in our home one night a week and every other weekend. She has decided to hang in her bedroom a huge framed picture of her parents taken on their wedding day. (Her mother has since remarried.)
I suggested to my fiance that perhaps Cameron could put the picture up in her room at her mother’s, since seeing it every day is annoying for me.
My fiance says I am out of line even to suggest such a thing — that it’s Cameron’s bedroom.
No doubt her mother wouldn’t allow it being displayed in her home, as it would be disrespectful to her current husband. Well, I don’t want it up in our home, because I consider it disrespectful to me.
Am I out of line, Abby?
— Ticked Off In Springfield, Mass.
Dear Ticked-Off: I agree with your fiance. Cameron’s bedroom is her private refuge, and as long as it’s kept clean, it should be the way she wants it. And that includes the picture of both of her parents taken in happier days. I urge you to rethink your stance on this, and to develop a more loving and tolerant relationship with your fiance’s daughter.
Dear Abby: I am an older bachelor who recently moved into a new home. I invited my neighbors — a young married couple — over for a home-cooked meal. They brought with them a lovely bottle of wine.
I plan my dinners down to the last detail — including selecting just the right wine to go with the meal. To make a long story short, I did not serve the wine my guests brought for our dinner.
After thanking me for a wonderful meal and a delightful evening, they took the bottle of wine they had given me and went home! I didn’t say anything, but am I wrong to be appalled by their rude behavior?
— Mr. Nice Guy In Tulsa
Dear Mr. Nice Guy: Give your neighbors the benefit of the doubt. They are a young couple and may have thought you didn’t like their selection. They should have left the bottle as a gift — but please don’t let that ruin a budding friendship.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, a.k.a. Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
