When Karen Davis left her job at a small Chicago-based public relations agency, she did everything right.
When her boss asked her if she was happy (and she wasn’t), Davis calmly explained that the job wasn’t a good fit for her. When her boss offered Davis options within the same company, Davis politely declined. During her remaining three weeks with the company, Davis worked hard and remained friendly and cheerful with her superiors and co-workers.
Even though Davis left her job without having found another, her graceful and professional exit will work wonders for her career, experts say. “You always win by taking the high road,” said Cathleen Faerber, president of The Wellesley Group, a human-relations consulting firm in Lake Zurich.
Torrey N. Foster Jr. agrees. “People forget that what goes around comes around,” said Foster, senior partner in the Chicago office of Heidrick & Struggles, the executive search firm. “If they do not leave a place of employ professionally, they compromise their reputation and it may come back to haunt them in the future.”
Even under the best circumstances, leaving a job is difficult. In fact, changing jobs ranks as one of modern life’s five greatest stress inducers (marriage, divorce, moving and the death of a loved one are the others). But controlling your emotions, gathering information and asking colleagues for help all can ease the pain of having to leave one job and find another.
Keeping tears and rage in check is crucial. That’s true even if you’ve been fired or unexpectedly laid off, situations in which it’s especially difficult to keep calm. Nevertheless, try, Faerber advises. If you feel tears stinging your eyes, ask for a few minutes alone to regain your composure, she says.
Resigning, especially from a job you can’t wait to leave, also can release a flood of emotions. Keep them dammed up, Foster counsels. “Never badmouth a soon-to-be-former employer,” he said. “Even if you have a leg to stand on, it doesn’t go anywhere good.”
Instead of lashing out at your boss, write a brief letter of resignation giving your date of departure, typically two or three weeks from the date you hand over that letter. If asked about your new job, be honest about where you’re going. “It’ll come out in the wash anyway,” Foster said.
Save any criticisms for the exit interview. There, offer constructive and positive feedback, not a barrage of complaints, he added.
Although it may sound strange, decline any counteroffer the company makes after you’ve resigned. “Typically people who accept a counter-offer find themselves in the same boat six months later, unhappy and looking for a job,” Foster said. That’s because people typically leave jobs for reasons other than salary, he added.
If you’ve been laid off or fired, it’s also important to find out what the company is willing to give you. Ask about severance pay, advises Laura Hartman, professor of business ethics at DePaul University in Chicago, and don’t worry about it affecting your unemployment check: Severance doesn’t count as income. The typical formula for severance is a week’s pay for every year on the job, though some high-level executives might have bigger packages written into their contracts.
Sometimes companies offer employees a certain amount of money in exchange for which the employees sign an agreement saying they won’t take action against the company. Think long and hard about such agreements, Hartman says, if you’re uncomfortable with the way you’re being terminated or if you’ve been fired for whistleblowing. “You might get $150 severance and sign away your rights,” she said.
If you do accept any such offers, by all means get them in writing, Hartman says. In fact, “get as much as humanly possible in writing,” she said.
The info-gathering process includes asking for references. If you’ve been fired, it might be wiser to ask a co-worker, client or customer for references, rather than your direct supervisor, Faerber says.
When you’ve started to interview and the time comes for references to be checked, call those people and give them a heads-up, she adds.
Also, take the time to ask for outplacement services. “Ask for the moon,” Faerber said, and negotiate from there.
For instance, ask for six months with a professional firm and you might get three. At the very least, ask for a week or so to use the company’s computer and copy machine so you can prepare your resume.
You’ll also need to know which benefits the company will extend to you.
By law, companies owe exiting employees the opportunity to extend their health-insurance coverage for six months (as mandated by the 1986 Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act, or COBRA) and any money they’ve contributed to a 401(k).
Whether you get any of the company-matched funds in the 401(k) depends on the vesting rules of the plan, Hartman adds.
If you’re laid off, you can apply for unemployment, and you should, says Joanna Aronson, a 27-year-old Chicago woman who two years ago was laid off from an ailing dot-com in Los Angeles.
“People think it’s welfare, but it’s extremely helpful,” Aronson said. She collected unemployment for three months, and the funds helped offset the loss of a fat commission check the company owed but never paid her.
Getting fired is a different story. While your company still owes you the health insurance and your retirement money, it may challenge your claim to unemployment, particularly if you’ve been fired for stealing or other unethical behavior, according to Hartman. Occasionally, companies will agree not to challenge your claim.
Thanks to modern technology, the question of what employees can take from their offices and what they must leave has become what Hartman calls “a legal marshmallow.”
Generally speaking, you can take what you brought to the office: family photos, a comfy sweater, assorted Tupperware. Also generally speaking, you must leave the workplace tools the company gave you: computer, cellphone, personal digital assistant.
The marshmallow factor kicks in when those two property categories overlap–for instance, company files that exist on a laptop you own. “The challenge is intellectual property; that’s an area that’s not very well regulated,” said Hartman, adding that attorneys often are called to settle such disputes.
What you can and should take away from a job is as much good will and resources as possible. Round up colleagues and ask for referrals to other possible jobs. “Make sure you maintain contacts,” Hartman said.
Karen Davis says keeping in touch with old clients helped her land another job.
After leaving the public-relations firm, she began freelancing. A former client set her up with a project at another firm, and when that firm took on new business, Davis was hired.
She has since left that firm but says the lesson remains. “It’s a whole `don’t burn bridges’ thing,” she said.
Above all, and Foster and others can’t say it enough, stay positiveand keep the negativity to yourself. It helps to view a job change, wanted or unwanted, as an opportunity rather than a setback.
“It’s absolutely not the end of the world,” said Mary Lou Gorno, a vice president at A.T. Kearney, the Chicago-based executive search firm.
“It’s the opportunity to do a self-assessment and find something better.”
Manage the pink-slip blues by taking control
The first few days after you’ve been fired or laid off can be crucial. The following tips could spare you additional heartbreak:
Do not panic, show anger or become violent, said Bill McCann, a career counselor and founder of Job Search Buddy Staffing and Career Services, a placement firm. “You’re going to be dazed. Clean out any personal effects and turn in all the necessary equipment.”
Carefully review your severance package. Will you receive a lump sum or a weekly or biweekly check? If you believe you’re entitled to stock options that aren’t included in the package, consult an attorney to find out what your rights are and what you may be able to negotiate, said Richard Koonce, author and career coach.
Figure out your health coverage. Is it included in the severance deal? If so, for how long? Are you eligible for COBRA? Get as much information as you can in writing, McCann said.
Stop by the unemployment office. “Get the wheels turning,” McCann said. Find out how much assistance is available and whether you’re eligible for any state programs, such as food stamps or job training.
Assess your finances. Talk to your family about how your job loss will effect them. Identify other sources of income and separate wants from needs. “It’s amazing what you can cut–a leased car or an expensive vacation,” Koonce said. “Put in place a bare-bones budget.”
Notify creditors of your situation. You might be able to negotiate a lower interest rate or reduced monthly payment, McCann said. Some will ask you to fax a copy of your layoff letter, he added. This action could protect your credit rating.
If you’ve been laid off, ask your employer about freelance opportunities, said Maria Bailey, CEO of BlueSuitMom.com, an online career site. “Sometimes, your former employer can be your first customer.”
Give yourself time to regroup. Avoid contacting headhunters right away until you’ve had time to figure out your next step. “You don’t want to move too quickly unless you are feeling pretty good emotionally,” Koonce said.
T. Shawn Taylor
