John Allen Muhammad, the 41-year-old man who faces charges in several states in the Washington, D.C.-area sniper attacks, fits the profile of an abusive man who uses his children as a weapon to control women, says an author who has written a book on the subject.
Abusive men are extremely controlling toward their children, says Lundy Bancroft, whose book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men,” ($26.95) was published by Putnam in early October, around the same time that the sniper shootings began.
According to reports since Muhammad’s arrest, he is known to have abused at least three women, Bancroft said. Muhammad also lost visitation privileges with the three children he had with his second wife.
Last week Muhammad’s first wife, Carol Williams, in an interview on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” said that once when their son, then 11, went to visit Muhammad in Tacoma, Wash., he threatened to not let the boy return home. She had to fight a legal battle to get him back, she said. “Muhammad’s Tacoma divorce lawyer has said his client was angry about being denied access to his children and that was a factor in why he killed,” said Bancroft in an interview. “That’s only a theory, but coming from his lawyer, it’s credible.”
Bancroft said he has “seen batterers do really extreme stuff after they lose custody of their children. They often have a very deep personal belief that their children are their personal possessions.”
Abusive men typically strike back against their former wives, their wives’ parents or a judge in a custody battle, Bancroft said.
“We, as a society, have to start taking more seriously the danger that batterers represent. Men who batter can be very, very threatening, not only to their former wives and kids, but to society at large.”
An expert on spousal abuse and its effect on children, Bancroft also pointed to news reports that Muhammad had closely overseen his alleged accomplice in the sniper attacks, 17-year-old John Lee Malvo, whom he introduced as his stepson. Malvo’s diet and comings and goings were dictated by Muhammad, according to relatives and friends.
Muhammad also was a controlling figure to his own four children, said family members and others.
Charles Green, 40, whose sister was Muhammad’s second wife, told The Baltimore Sun last week that Muhammad was deeply attached to his children and took them to Antigua without court permission in 2000. Muhammad also lost visitation privileges with the children after violating a custody agreement. The attachment extended beyond the kids, Green said. After the couple divorced in 2000, Muhammad was enraged over losing his wife, even though he had not always been faithful to her, Green said.
Muhammad also was angry when Malvo was taken away from him last December by the Immigration and Naturalization Service on immigration violations, The New York Times reported. The two were reunited in January, but Malvo was scheduled for a deportation hearing this month. The thought of losing Malvo also angered Muhammad, reports said.
Many abusive men also “earn the respect of their peers and come off well publicly,” said Bancroft, former co-director of Emerge, which bills itself as the nation’s first program for abusive men. “Outsiders find it hard to believe they are abusive.”
In interviews, men who served in the Army with Muhammad have said he was charismatic, competent and a good leader, Bancroft pointed out.
Calling it a “myth” that all men who abuse were themselves abused, Bancroft said most men who abuse either saw their mothers abused or grew up in families where abuse was condoned. “These men learn a lot of negative stuff about females through modeling, that women are stupid and hysterical. This lays the groundwork for values and a belief system that tells them it’s OK to begin abusing women when they are old enough to start dating.”
An abusive father or other role model may drive a wedge between a boy and his mother, Bancroft noted. At the same time, such a man may send messages that women should cater to men; those who fail to serve men deserve punishment, he said.
Still, national studies have shown only 40 percent of abusive men grew up seeing their moms abused, Bancroft said.
Cultural factors also encourage abusive behavior. Certain rock lyrics and videos, and pornography “teach young boys that females are there for their sexual use. They are often very dehumanizing … ,” he said.
One way of making sure a boy doesn’t become abusive, he said, is to support a relationship with his mother or female role model. “A boy’s relationship with his mom, if it’s a good one, seems to be one of the top factors that determine whether he will choose abuse,” he said.
In the televised interview with King, Muhammad’s first wife said his parents had died when he was young. She also said he had been raised by relatives who did not treat him well and did not provide a loving, supportive home life for him.
