Dear Carolyn,
I’m 16, and considered to be an outgoing guy. Many times I begin platonic relationships with females that end up becoming extremely close. The problem is (and it happens all the time), we end up being so close that when I want to move forward in the relationship, the girl would rather remain friends. I really don’t think it’s bad to be able to communicate with girls in a laid-back fashion, however it can be frustrating to hear the “just friends” spiel over and over again. How can I get close but still keep the option of becoming serious viable?
–Graciously Burned
Date women twice your age.
I am so supremely kidding.
But if you aren’t just being the unctuous I’m-Here-for-You-When-That-Other-Guy-Dumps-You Guy–you all know who you are–and you really are able to form these intimate friendships, then you really are ahead of your time. While the dating fire is all new and crackly, differences attract. When daters get tired of trying to make conversation with brooding poets and prefer warmth to third-degree burns, best friends attract. Be yourself and be patient for when that’s enough.
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E-mail tellme@washpost.com; fax: 202-334-5669.
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