No, the punk band Black Flag wasn’t singing about Christmas shopping when they wrote “Gimme Gimme Gimme.” But the song’s sentiment is a perfect fit for the plastic-fueled thuggishness that turns your neighbor into your shopping-drunk tormentor.
It isn’t even Christmas yet, and already you need a break from your fellow man.
See, we love the holidays–our bulging beltline being the most tangible manifestation–it’s just the people that are the problem. On the Friday after Turkey Day, for example, to venture on Michigan Avenue was to sign on as a willing participant in human pinball.
So what to do for some peace, quiet and battery recharging, a place that’s near shopping–perfect for a quick duck in and out to dial down the type A madness?
In one of those beautifully timed events, the City of Chicago is debuting its Holiday Hospitality Center, a place where you wrap gifts, rendezvous or just chill. Occupying the lobby and second level of the Chicago Theatre, the HHC not only boasts refreshments such as coffee and hot cocoa, but there’s plenty of seating and organ music inside the hall, courtesy of theater organ whiz Rich Lewis. Complimentary gift wrapping assistance will also be offered.
“This time of year can be a bit overwhelming,” says Dorothy Coyle, head of the Chicago Office of Tourism. “I think that people will really appreciate the opportunity to use it. It’s kind of an oasis, something that they wouldn’t expect but will be a very nice discovery.
“It’s also great for parents who have little ones who like to look in bags. You can come home with the gifts all wrapped, and it’s one less thing for people to worry about.”
The Hospitality Center, 175 N. State St. (877-244-2246), will be up and running from Sunday through Dec. 24. Hours are 11 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Mondays through Fridays; 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays.
Here’s a sampling of other little seas of tranquility amid the throngs.
Woodfield Mall detour: Reindeer games
OK, so they’re elk in the woods. Still, they’re close enough to reindeer, and if gazing at living, breathing relatives of the mythical sled-pullers isn’t enough to chill you out, what is? Best of all, the fenced-in area in Busse Woods, at Arlington Heights and Higgins Roads in Elk Grove Village, is a very short drive eastbound on Higgins from Woodfield Mall. If the shopping insanity leaves you wanting to stand in the middle of the jam-packed parking lot, shrieking “Serenity now!” try the elk instead. They aren’t as soothing as cows, but let’s see Elsie try to pull a sled.
Busse Woods is open from dawn until dusk, seven days a week. For general information, call 800-870-3666.
State Street detour: Monument with Standing Beast
Who knew that Jean DuBuffet’s sculpture of, well . . . let’s just call it a sculpture, would serve as a conveniently placed escape? Those who know that you can go inside DuBuffet’s large-scale sculpture, that’s who. There is an entrance on the north end of the beast that forms a little alcove. Grab a coffee or a hot cocoa from a nearby cafe, and enter. You are out of the wind, and although this isn’t a long-term solution, it’s great for a quick breath or two. Now, because of the open nature of the sculpture, you’re liable to find snow or water inside, but hey, it’s winter–what price tranquility?
Monument with Standing Beast is located at the James R. Thompson Center, Randolph and Clark Streets.
Michigan Avenue detour: St. Clair Street
This graceful little stretch, which runs from Grand Avenue to Superior Street, is very cool. Michigan Avenue, with everybody ramped up into a shopping frenzy, is a sea of bags, backs and butts. And heaven forfend if you’re unfortunate enough to be going against the flow of traffic. To diminish the grabby grimness that can turn Michigan Avenue into an ordeal, just detour one block east, to St. Clair. This street runs parallel to Michigan, and if you know where you want to go, St. Clair is a hassle-free route.
Gurnee Mills detour: HydraRelax
We all remember the “Calgon, take me away” ads, touting the power of water to relieve life’s stresses. Well, as you trudge the vastness of Gurnee Mills shopping center with its signs advertising shops as being “minutes away,” know that water is nearby, working its magic. Imagine laying face down in a tanning bed-looking contraption, as 36 jets of 90-degree water simulate the effects of 18 fingers working their way up and down your body. “It relaxes you, but leaves you with more energy,” says Judi Barbaccia, a regional manager for HydraRelax. “Men especially like this, and many say that they love to come to the mall now.” Indeed.
Shoes off, clothes on (you’re in the middle of the mall, after all), and face down on the table. The top is closed, and the vinyl sheet keeps you dry. Headphones block the noise of the mall and the water jets, leaving you to enjoy a nifty experience that does indeed soothe. You can vary the pressure from 1-10 pounds of force, hence the face-down nature of the experience. You don’t want that much force hitting you in the groin, after all.
HydraRelax is in front of the Vanity Fair outlet at Gurnee Mills, at Interstate 94 and Grand Avenue, Gurnee. Rates range from $7 for 10 minutes to $25 for 30 minutes. For general information, call 847-263-7500.
Central Street Shops detour: Highland Park Public Library
Only residents can actually borrow, but anyone can browse, lounge and recharge to your heart’s content in this suburban library nonpareil. There is a fireplace in every room, so fret not if the spots in front of the fire are gone in a particular space. Best of all, the HP library is just across the Metra tracks from the busy Central Street shopping area. So when it all gets to be too much, pay an oh-so-soothing visit.
The Highland Park Public Library is located at the corner of St. Johns and Laurel Avenues, Highland Park. Call 847-432-0216 for information and hours.
Oakbrook Center detour: 2100 Club
So, the best thing about secrets, is . . . well . . . that they’re secrets. Which makes blabbing about the 2100 Club, a bar and eatery in the Renaissance Oak Brook Hotel, sort of difficult. See, it’s right by Oakbrook Center. You cross the east parking lot and enter the modest Renaissance Hotel, and on the 9th floor is the 2100 Club, with a fabulous view of the twinkling lights of Oakbrook Center, according to our spies. It’s peaceful, and best of all, you can throw the bags in the car and walk there.
2100 Club at the Renaissance Oak Brook Hotel, 2100 Spring Rd., Oak Brook; 630-573-2800.
Wabash Avenue detour: Yoga, not Boo-Boo
Soham Yoga and Healing Arts Center is a tranquil little oasis in the heart of bustling downtown. Located in the Pittsfield Building, at Wabash Avenue and Washington Street, Soham offers an array of yoga classes that will soothe your body and psyche. The appealing part for the harried is that Soham offers drop-in rates, so even if you aren’t pre-registered for a class, you can still take part. Walk-in rates range from $10-$15, and Soham offers Kundalini and Hatha Yoga, as well as mat Pilates and other classes. Breathe in, breathe out . . . Good.
Soham Yoga and Healing Arts Center, 55 E. Washington St., Suite LL113. Call 312-409-1416 for information about hours and classes.
Michigan Avenue detour: Gazebos for the hardy
On Oak Street, just across from the Drake Hotel, at the northeast corner of the park there, is a gazebo. It is almost always empty because it’s outside, and it’s winter. Know that Chicago’s legendary Hawk likes gazebos a lot and Oak Street is right at one of those points where it seems to always be windy, even when there’s no wind blowing. Still, holiday lights line the gazebo, and with sufficiently warm clothing and hot drinks of your choice, it can work just fine for de-stressing.
Orland Square detour: Go back in time
Old Orland Historic District is a reminder of the way small towns used to be. An assemblage of antiquity, this is an area of turn-of-the-century homes and businesses. There are antique shops and the John Humphrey House, which was the home of Orland Park’s first mayor. And then of course, there’s the renovated Twin Towers (9967 W. 144th St.), the famous church which had its heyday in the late-1800s as a gathering place for Orland Park residents. What will blow you away is the proximity of this historic district to the Orland Square shopping center, the very place from which you might be seeking refuge.
Try a Historic District visit to the General Store, 14314 S. Union Ave., Orland Park; 708-349-9802, or stop by the Old Bank Antique Shop, 14316 S. Beacon Ave., Orland Park; 708-460-7979.
Michigan Avenue detour: Joy of Ireland
Tea is always perfect for chasing away the holiday I’m-gonna-kill-somebodys. But as you enter the 700 N. Michigan Ave. shopping center, you’ll be thinking: “Just where the heck is tranquility in this roiling sea of humanity?” It’s on the third floor, wee hopper. Enter the Joy of Ireland store, walk past the lovely knit sweaters and Guinness paraphernalia, past the knickknacks, china and straight to the back wall. There, you’ll see a few tables, one waitperson, and what is most likely the city’s smallest tea room. Have a spot of tea while nibbling on one of the breads imported from Ireland and looking down upon the huddled, chilled masses searching for that perfect gift.
Joy of Ireland, 700 N. Michigan Ave., 312-470-4065.
State Street detour: Chicago Cultural Center
This Loop stalwart has achieved said status for a reason: It’s a really cool place to visit. Not only is there art and the Museum of Broadcast Communications on the Washington Street end, but the Cultural Center itself is fabulous. Best of all, it’s just off both Wabash and Michigan Avenues, full of little nooks and crannies where you can grab a bit of grub from a spot like the Corner Bakery, or just flop down in a chair and chill. Take a trip up the grand staircase, pause to look at “Mother Earth,” the sculpture by Vittore Bocchetta, and continue up to the glorious GAR (Grand Army of the Republic) rotunda. The ceiling is a showstopper, and the “Don’t tread on me” motto painted on the ceiling can serve as your mantra as you venture back into the world.
Chicago Cultural Center, 77 E. Washington St. 312-744-6630.
