After losing $531,657 in salary–or $18,333 a day–Blackhawks holdout Boris Mironov wants to rejoin the team. In his absence, RedEye helped spend some of his money. (Hope you liked the Porsche, Boris.) Here’s where the remaining $256,662 can go.
Send in the clones
The Raelians claim that at least 2,000 people are willing to pay $200,000 to have themselves or a loved one cloned. Since you show up for half the games, let’s get dupes and have one whole player.
Left to spend: $56,662
Show you care
How about 20,500 “I’m sorry” cards for the next Hawks sellout (easy now). Figure a buck a card plus a pack of Sharpies.
Left to spend: $36,160
Future Hawks
In his absence, the team somehow managed to go 8-2-3. But they can always use more young players, so let’s put what’s left toward Blackhawks-to-be and send as many kids as possible to hockey camp. It’s all about the children.
