In preparation for my upcoming marriage, I placed an ad to sell my Sealy mattress and box spring. A Spanish medical student responded to the ad. So eager was he to learn English that he brought a notebook to write down unfamiliar words.
When he asked what was so funny about my bed, I was puzzled until I realized that he was confusing the word “silly” with the brand name of the mattress. He then expressed concern that I would have nowhere to sleep if he bought the bed before my wedding. I told him not to worry because I had a cot.
“You mean,” he said, “meow?” No, I said that he was referring to a cat. “You mean like this?” he asked, and made a hand gesture like a scissors. No, I told him, that word was “cut,” and explained that a cot was a portable bed.
“Cat, cut, cot,” he apologized. “English confuses me. I have trouble with my bowels.”
