This time, we’re really asking for it.
Last week’s “Men Dressing Badly” story on the Style page ruffled some velour sweat suits out there, and now this? Kevin M. Williams, the Tribune’s in-house man of style (and a Friday section editor), dares to suggest tips for advanced placement in the male sartorial ranks, in the form of a few resolutions.
If you are a man who owns an iron and knows how to use it, repeat after Williams: “I resolve . . .
“If I am past the age of 18, I will cease to believe that there is any such thing as a button-down dress shirt.”
“I will wear proper, two-sided cufflinks, as opposed to the swivel-back dealies.”
“I will cuff my trousers, 1 1/2 inches if I am under 6 foot, 1 3/4 if I am above 6 foot.” (Because the pants hang better, that’s why.)
“I will acquire and wear a proper dress hat. None of that crusher nonsense. We’re talkin’ a proper homburg, derby or fedora. And learn what works for my face.”
“I will find the best collar type for my face and wear it.”
“I will think about the ties that I wear, eschewing ugliness. If someone says, `Boy, that’s a snappy tie,’ I will take it off and burn it.” (Ties should never be “snappy.”)
“I will never, ever show skin at the junction of my sock/pant cuff, when my legs are crossed.” (Furry legs are gross.)
“I will accept that khakis are for soldiers.” (We can hear the computers firing up for protests.)
“I will never, ever wear a non-button-down shirt without collar stays to keep the points in place, because I know how silly it looks.”
“I will make sure that my clothes fit.” (How do you know that they don’t? If you have to adjust anything when you get up from your chair, see a tailor.)
“I will learn how to fold and wear a pocket square, a little item that finishes off a suit like nothing else.”
“I will find out what I look good wearing, and develop a sense of personal style.”
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For tuneups on any style matters related to men or women, e-mail Q@tribune.com with “Fashion Mechanic” in the subject line. This feature will run occasionally as part of Q’s Style offerings.
