So, yes, there was cork in Sammy Sosa’s bat. But he shouldn’t hang his head. Chicago’s legends (and pretenders to the title) have a long history of bending the rules:
Michael Jordan: Had air in his sneakers.
Saul Bellow: Made up stories.
Frank Lloyd Wright: Stole client’s wife.
Floyd Kalber: During “happy talk,” often wasn’t.
The Democratic Party: Stole elections.
Oprah Winfrey: Sometimes forgot her spirit.
Luis Aparicio: Stole bases.
Mike Royko: Didn’t know anybody named “Slats Grobnick.”
Al Capone: Failed to declare all income.
Nelson Algren: Consorted with Frenchwoman.
Daniel Burnham: Made some little plans.
Billy Corgan: Couldn’t carry a tune.
Bozo: Mind wandered during bucket game.
Chicago (the band): Moved to L.A.
Jerry Springer: “Final Thought” never really was.
Tom Skilling: Sometimes doesn’t really know what weather will be.
