There’s plenty to fear this Halloween:
– Scariest wax lips: Meg Ryan
– Scariest chart-topping album: Clay Aiken’s “Measure of a Man”
– Scariest nosedive: L.A. Lakers’ image
– Scariest feud: David Gest vs. Liza Minnelli
– Scariest killjoy: RIAA
– Scariest fashion trend: Wool capri pants
– Scariest haircut: Kim on “24”
– Scariest commercial: Quizno’s wolf-suckling ad
– Scariest lawyer: John Allen Muhammad
– Scariest rejected bachelorette: Lee-Ann
– Scariest state: California (Schwarzenegger, wildfires, striking grocery clerks, etc.)
– Scariest country: North Korea
– Scariest Iraqi city: Pick ’em
– Scariest couple: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey
– Scariest TV fan Club: “24” (“I can’t come out/talk/hear anything you are saying/move/ breathe, ’24’ is on.”)
– Scariest exhibitionist who lived in a glass box: David Blaine
– Scariest memoir that never was: Woody Allen
– Scariest parent-teacher conferences: Demi Moore, her kids and Ashton Kucher
– Scariest mom: Courtney Love
– Scariest sports event: Frank Thomas returning to the White Sox.
