With the exception of the six months
I spent diving for pearls in Tahiti, there is nothing better than NFL football on Thanksgiving.
Yes, even this year.
Sure, it means you have to watch the Detroit Lions annually, but do what I do and chalk it up to volunteer work. You’ll thank me when it comes to tax season next April.
And Dolphins at Dallas? You get to watch Dave Wannstedt tear his hair out over his own decisions as Miami’s Schizophrenics go against Bill Parcells and the future Super Bowl champions of the world. Do yourself a favor and eat after the game. Again, you’ll thank me.
RE: The “future Super Bowl champions” comment? Cancel your knee-jerk indignant letter-writing campaign. I didn’t mean this season. I meant some day.
And here now, the picks.
MATCHUP
Green Bay (6-5) at Detroit (3-8)
11 a.m., WLFD-Ch. 32
HEAD-TO-HEAD
Packers lead 77-62-7
WATCH YOUR STEP
The Lions’ 23rd-ranked offense did nothing against the Vikings last week, mostly because they are dead last in rushing. The Packers are No. 1 in rushing.
KEEP SCRATCHING
If Ahman Green (1,326 rushing yards so far) is adopting pets this holiday season, there’s a $20 in there if he chooses a pooch we all know and love. No, not the dog from “Dr. Doolittle.”
THE LINE
Packers by 7
OVER/UNDER
44
FINAL SHAKE
Packers.
I’ll be home for Christmas.
MATCHUP
Miami (7-4) at Dallas (8-3)
3:05 p.m. WBBM-Ch. 2
HEAD-TO-HEAD
Dolphins lead 6-3
WATCH YOUR STEP
One small stat tells a big story. Dallas has 199 first downs; their enemies have 155. And getting Jay Fiedler back doesn’t solve a damn thing for Miami.
KEEP SCRATCHING
Miami played Sunday night, giving them less than four days rest. So what? Slam a Diet Coke or 12. I did, and it ain’t affecting me none. Hey, the room is spinning.
THE LINE
‘Boys by 3
OVER/UNDER
34 1/2
FINAL SHAKE
Cowboys. You can plan on me.
———-
Edited by Michael Kellams (mkellams@tribune.com)
