Get this: A witch performed a ritual to remove a curse from the home field of English soccer team Frome Town.
Oh, how silly.
The team had struggled to score any goals before witch Titania Hardie was invited to perform a ritual on the field. She walked onto the field, waved her hands around and told players to think there was a white circle around them.
How ridiculous.
After the ceremony, Frome scored a goal. And Frome lost 2-1.
This couldn’t be more ridiculous than if she had brought a goat out onto the field and walked it around a little bit. Silly British.
GET RAIDED: Fans and gamblers will flock to the 23rd annual Cockroach Races in Brisbane, Australia, on Monday. Some people bring their own roaches for the races, other folks buy bugs at the site, and all involved need to scatter when we turn the lights on.
ART SHOWS: Call off the manhunt for that 8-foot, 100-pound fiberglass fish sculpture that’s been missing from Olympia, Wash., since March. It was recovered by police in Denver. Of course, it was.
MORE BRIEFS: A news item moved this week explaining how Tokyo’s used panty sellers are targeted by city lawmakers looking to protect minors from the city’s thriving sex industry. Wait. Back up. “Panty sellers?” Turns out there is a big market for young girls underwear, some going for $94 a pair.
NAKED TRUTH: Stop us if you’ve heard this one–three guys in Spokane, Wash., left their clothes in the car and ran naked through a Denny’s restaurant. When they went outside in the chilly weather, they saw a thief drive off with their car and their clothes. The moral of this story: Lock it up before you slip it off.
MISDIRECTION: The Boston Herald reports that Massachusetts’ former public safety secretary spent $17,000 in state anti-terrorism funds on a 60-inch plasma screen television for his office. The set has no special capabilities, but would you just look at that picture. Magnificent. And from every angle. I’m sorry, what was the question?
BANK ROLLED: Remember Jack Whitaker? The 56-year-old contractor who won a $314.9 million Powerball jackpot and took it all in a $113 million lump sum? Sure you do. Well, Whitaker had a bag of $100,000 stolen from his car. Last year, two people were charged with drugging Whittaker and stealing a briefcase containing more than $500,000 in cash and cashier’s checks.
Just a suggestion: Think about carrying a debit card.
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Edited by RedEye staff members
