Our singles hit the town for their second outings–doing everything from swilling suds to salsa dancing–to check out the singles scene. Find out who got digits and who struck out. Then check out each spot’s hook-up potential, rated from one to four hearts.
Androids on Ice at Vision, 11 p.m. Friday
I ventured to Vision’s Sky Room to hit Androids on Ice, a party metromix described as “complete with ‘snow robots.’ ” Apparently, “snow robots” means crappy silver-painted mimes. Not since the Barenaked Ladies has there been a more misleading and disappointing name. Two attractive women caught my eye instantly as they danced on the first level. However, it was impossible to talk over the pulsing techno music. My wingman and I retreated to Vision’s main room, which was much more mainstream and crowded. I met a comely Puerto Rican emigre on Vision’s third floor, and I quickly impressed her with my middle school Spanish. We chatted, laughed, and then it dawned on me–are we the next Bennifer? But much like the ill-fated couple, the presence of the paparazzi (the metromix photographer) and the drinking (open bar, ’nuff said) proved insurmountable. After reluctantly posing for a few photos, she asked for my number and left the club. At least I didn’t have to buy her mother a Rolls Royce. 640 N. Dearborn St. 312-266-2114.
Rating: (2 hearts)
Country Night at Joe’s,
9 p.m. Friday
As a country music hater, I was thrilled when I found out I was being sent to listen to a live country band, complete with mullets and bolo ties. Still, I hoped to meet a mysterious Marlboro Man who spoke in monosyllables and smelled like Stetson musk at this weekly party. In actuality, most of the crowd resembled regular Chicago city folk. I joined in the line dancing lesson expecting to bump into a guy who was equally perplexed, but the only males participating were the poor saps who’d been dragged onto the sawdust-covered dance floor by their girlfriends. After a while, I ventured to the front of the bar, where I ran into an acquaintance who introduced me to his friend, Eddie. Eddie wasn’t a cowboy, but we did get on well–I impressed him with my comedy knowledge, and he impressed me with his everyday use of Yiddish. Before I left, he asked for my e-mail. What a Yankee. 940 W. Weed St. 312-337-3486.
Rating: (3 hearts)
Salsa lessons at HotHouse,
9:30 p.m. Saturday
Bachata, mambo, cha-cha–all very sexy. Feeling like you’re in a Richard Simmons video called “Sweatin’ to Salsa”? Not so much. My Saturday night entailed dancing lessons at the ever-eclectic HotHouse, where the crowd ranges from devotees of the hipster’s handbook to what resembled my dad’s poker buddies. The night kicked off with free lessons, but after the first three songs, I felt like I was in a torturous aerobics class. My friend and I sat out the last number and surveyed the room. What we found was not too surprising–salsa tends to attract mostly couples. When I finally did meet the (seemingly single) Patrick Swayze of Latin dancing, was it any surprise he already had a girlfriend? A great place to take a date, just not to meet one. 31 E. Balbo Drive, 312-362-9707.
Rating: (heart)
Australia Day Harvest Festival with Wine Brats, 6:30 p.m. Thursday
This event was only supposed to last two hours, so I had to work quickly. My plan: Approach a table, ask to sample some wine, swirl the glass, take a sip and say “Ah, very nice!” and pick up girls. The majority of the women were (well) over 30, but the key was being able to weed out the wine snobs. After an hour, I exchanged smiles with Rachel. I made my way over and asked, “Would you care to join me at the Yellowtail table to taste their wines?” We spent the rest of the night laughing, talking and drinking as much wine as we could. One plan, one pick-up line, one phone number. www.winebrats.org.
Rating: (3 hearts)
The Map Room,
7 p.m. Tuesday
The Map Room’s International Night is a semi-secret oasis in the middle of the workweek. Buy two beers before 7 p.m. on Tuesday night, and you’ll get access to a catered buffet that features ethnic and regional fare. While the atmosphere is eclectic and fun–full of pea coats, messenger bags and nose rings–the matchmaking potential is not as hospitable. I knew chat-ups were going to be tough, with a total of three attractive, unattached men in sight. My first attempt resulted in an intellectually numbing conversation with one guy and eerie attention from his friend. In round two, I tried to make eyes with a guy and sent over a shot, but he didn’t even acknowledge my friend and me. For my third at-bat, I selected the last of the attractive men and feigned ignorance about Australia (the country du jour) to get to know him. I quickly spun on my boot heel, however, when the flash from the gold band on his left hand blinded me. 1949 N. Hoyne Ave. 773-252-7636.
Rating: (heart)
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Want more? – Come back next Wednesday to read about The Pick-up Artists’ search for love, and don’t miss them at 8 a.m. every Wednesday on WGN, when they’ll dish about their nights on the town. – Last week our singles went to Simon’s, Empty Bottle, Maeve and more. See if they hooked up–and read their bios–on metromix.com.
