The Tribune has obtained an exclusive interview with THE BALL:
His name is Rawlings.
He’s kind of round (after all, he is a baseball), although his pale frame is bruised and slightly battered.
Rawlings has been sentenced to die Thursday night. He stands accused of a heinous crime–preventing the Cubs from gaining their first World Series in 58 years. The only problem is, according to Rawlings, he’s innocent.
“It was my twin brother,” Rawlings insisted from the undisclosed location where he has been kept all week.
“I was nowhere near the place. Some guy just snapped me up in a sporting goods store, slapped me around for about an hour and said I was the `Batman ball,’ or something like that. Who’s this Batman guy?”
As if he were living in some banana republic, Rawlings has been unable to retain counsel.
“If I could just have my day in court, I could explain the whole thing,” Rawlings said, puffing the last of his cigarettes. “It wasn’t me. I was nowhere near the place. I was in the Sportmart on Halsted.”
Gov. Rod Blagojevich –or Bud Selig–can stop this with a last-minute reprieve. But as it stands, this grievous injustice will be played to its conclusion at 7:31 p.m. Thursday.
Requies in pacem.
