Apparently some reality TV pitches are just too tasteless — “I’ve Got a Monkey on My Back,” which proposed that relay-race contestants literally lug little primates cross-country, was too dumb even for Fox. But, then again, we’re constantly amazed by the reality shows that do make it on the air.
Try to guess which of the reality programs below are not in the works.
1. “Growing Up Gotti,” which follows mobster John Gotti’s socialite daughter Victoria.
2. “My Big Fat Booty Pageant,” a beauty pageant featuring women with large backsides.
3. “Amish and the City,” which follows teens from rural Amish communities living it up in an urban environment.
4. “Bi the Way,” a dating show in which the guy or gal who stars is given the option of dating both guys and gals.
5. “The Will,” which chronicles a family angling to inherit money from a rich relative.
6. “The College,” which features high school seniors competing for a four-year scholarship to an Ivy League university.
7. “The Real Beverly Hillbillies,” featuring a rural family’s encounter with snooty city types.
8. “The Contender,” an NBC show about a troupe of boxing hopefuls coached by Sylvester Stallone and Sugar Ray Leonard.
9. “Revenge of the Geeks,” in which former high school outcasts are made into hotties via plastic surgery and wardrobe makeovers, then thrown together with their former high school classmates.
10. “The Paper,” a look at the inner workings of a big-city daily newspaper and its weird staff.
Answers: Nos. 2, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10 are not real (although Tempo expects royalties if Nos. 4, 6 or 9 get on the air). Regarding No. 2, “My Big Fat Booty Pageant,” the Wall Street Journal reported that NBC reality chief Jeff Gaspin found the pitch for that program “very funny,” but, amazingly enough, he took a pass on the show. CBS honcho Les Moonves canceled plans for No. 7, “The Real Beverly Hillbillies,” after public outcry by rural groups. And, as for No. 10, who’d watch that?
