Whole bunch of stray dogs in Athens raced away from police looking to round them up before the Olympics. As expected, the German shepherds took the gold.
And if any of those strays get adopted by U.S. beach volleyballer Misty May, I’m suing. Back of the line, boys.
Just 2.2 million of the 5.2 million Olympic tickets have sold. “We are very, very pleased with how ticket sales have progressed over the past weeks,” an Olympics spokesman said. And you are very, very delusional.
Thanks to a lack of advertiser interest,
210 million Indonesians won’t see the Olympics live on TV. Really? No interest in live badminton quarterfinals at 3 a.m. local time? How shocking.
A salary arbitrator said the Boston Bruins’ Sergei Gonchar deserves a 51 percent raise to $5.5 million. It’s customary to tip your arbitrator 20 percent.
I miss Esteban Loaiza. And the beard. Maybe the beard more. Hard to say.
Help. Stop. Police. ESPN’s weekly bass fishing show will be called “BassCenter.”
Did you know X Games skateboarding legend Tony Hawk can do a stalefish fakie and turn it into a fakie 540? Now you do.
Imagine if the X Games had bass fishing. I could fakie my interestie and then swiftly turnie channelie.
Hey, what’s a dog got to do to get his own satellite radio deal around here?
There are now 20 Arena Football League teams. Almost one for every fan. Just kidding, that’s not true. AFL draws fans, and to show you I’m sincere, I’d like to invite all 57 of you over for tea.
Smarty Jones’ stud fee might be $75,000 to $150,000. And if you just want to talk, it’s still going to cost you.
The list
Five songs to play when I’m at bat:
– “Runnin’ with the Devil,” Van Halen.
– “Today,” Smashing Pumpkins.
– “Power and the Glory,” NFL Films.
– “1812 Overture,” Tchaikovsky.
– “Little Spanish Flea,” Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass.
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redeyesports@tribune.com, Edited by RedEye sports staff.
