When it comes to Summer Olympic mascots Phevos and Athena, everyone is a mascot critic.
Actually, it was only a matter of time before the two siblings were targeted for looking like, well, something other than mascots.
Phevos was named for Apollo, the Greek god of light and music. Athena was the goddess of wisdom. But in a way, the two latest creations keep up a long and misshapen history of mascots that did their best to represent but who, in the end, failed to medal.
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1968 Grenoble
Name: Schuss the skiing man
The problem: It’s no fun hugging a block of wood.
And now? Opened a home for retired toys with Pinocchio.
1972 Munich
Name: Waldi the dachsund
The problem: He was the first “official” Olympic mascot.
And now? Fighting a 32-year-old lawsuit filed by Schuss.
1976 Innsbruck
Name: Schneemann the snowman
The problem: A lot of alliteration for mushy mascots perched in powerful posts.
And now? Melted in late 1979.
1976 Montreal
Name: Amik the beaver
The problem: Even up close, he looked like a lost mitten.
And now? Slinging hash at a Quebec truck stop.
1980 Lake Placid
Name: Roni the Raccoon
The problem: Roni replaced real raccoon mascot Rocky, who died before the Games.
And now? May replace Matt LeBlanc on “Joey.”
1980 Moscow
Name: Misha the bear
The problem: Misha never smiled. Never. Not in Moscow in 1980. Well, Misha did smile once.
And now? Whereabouts unknown.
1984 Sarajevo Name: Vucko the little wolf
The problem: Vucko beat out a chipmunk among others. Right off the bat he’s a bad guy.
And now? In “Little Red Riding Hood” off-Broadway.
1984 Los Angeles
Name: Sam the eagle
The problem: Eagles are proud creatures. Unless they’re 12 inches tall and wear hats.
And now?
Motivational speaking at corporate events.
1988 Calgary
Name: Polar bears Hidy and Howdy
The problem: Calgary isn’t known for polar bears.
And now? Created “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”
1988 Seoul
Name: Hodori the tiger
The problem: His female counterpart Hosuni was seldom seen, troubling women’s groups.
And now? Couples counseling.
1992 Albertville
Name: Magique the snow imp
The problem: Incredibly close to Magique the snow pimp.
And now? Runs a Paris nightclub.
1992 Barcelona
Name: Cobi the surreal dog
The problem: Surreality doesn’t play too well with the masses.
And now? Trapped on the other side of a Picasso.
1994 Lillehammer
Name: Twins Haakon & Kristin
The problem: They’re humans. It’s like having the Phillie Phanatic be a 300-pound sweaty man.
And now? Coors fans.
1996 Atlanta
Name: Izzy the Whatizit
The problem: It could morph and create new body parts
almost right before your eyes.
And now? Will appear in upcoming issue of Playboy.
1998 Nagano
Name: Snow owls Sukki, Nokki, Lekki and Tsukki
The problem: No need for four owls when one would do.
And now? Back-up singers for Tom Jones in Las Vegas.
2000 Sydney
Names: Ollie, Syd and Millie
The problem: Ollie is a kookaburra, Syd is a platypus, and Millie is an echidna.
And now? Still in Sydney.
Nobody had the heart to tell them the Games ended.
’02 Salt Lake City
Name: Powder, Coal and Copper
The problem: It’s the start of a bad joke. “A snowshoe rabbit,
a black bear and a coyote walk into a bar …”
And now? Powder, Coal and Copper are dating a kookaburra, platypus and an echidna.
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
