Signature massage
Where: Paradise Sauna, 2912 W. Montrose Ave. 773-588-3304
Price: $60 for a 60-minute massage. Note: I actually paid $78. When asked about the extra $18, the receptionist said what I thought was “tax.” Apparently $78 is the cost of a massage plus sauna. I actually didn’t use the sauna, but the receptionist was no swindler–it was simply a miscommunication. Lesson learned: Be sure to double-check prices. I also tipped $20.
Atmosphere: At first glance, Paradise Sauna looks more like an Eastern-themed YMCA. But once I noticed a room filled with bubbling hot tubs and another dedicated entirely to the lost art of napping, I decided Paradise was beginning to look one snake shy of Eden.
Service: Initially, service is sparse. But once you’re in the hands of the massage therapist, life couldn’t be better.
Experience: After leaving my clothes, purse and modesty in a locker, my massage therapist Emy led me to a very dark, quiet room for the signature massage, which combines Swedish, deep tissue and acupressure techniques. For a full hour she kneaded, pressed and rubbed every ounce of tension out of my body. Afterward, I was so relaxed I fell asleep for 45 minutes. When I woke up, I considered getting the tempting sukiyaki from a menu posted on the wall, but unfortunately, it was late and even Paradise closes.
Would you do it again? I’ve already made another appointment.–Mary Van De Walle
Coffee pedicure
Where: Sole Nail Lounge, 1468 N. Milwaukee Ave. 773-486-7653
Price: $40 plus $10 tip
Atmosphere: There was a DJ spinning, and I was surrounded by beautiful women. It was almost like going out on a Friday, except at Sole, the women actually talked to me. I think I could really be onto something here!
Service: Despite invading female territory, I was warmly welcomed by the staff.
Experience: After enduring the most difficult part–leaving my masculinity on the doorstep, walking up to the counter and stating I was there to receive a pedicure–I felt right at home. I think the free wine really helped. I learned cuticle scissors can be tiny but painful weapons, even for burly men like me. Ask them to let your feet soak in the miniature whirlpool for a long time if you’re a newbie (trust me on this–it softens them up). I was a little sad to see the calluses I worked so hard for get buffed away, but once I let go, my formerly gnarled feet thanked me for it. I kept waiting for the coffee, but turns out it’s part of the exfoliation goo.
Would you do this again? This might have been a one-time shot for me, but if someone ever gave this to me as a gift (hint, hint), I would definitely do it again.–Chris Salm
Honey buns (a.k.a. “butt facial”)
Where: Honey Child, 735 N. LaSalle St. 312-573-1300
Price: $65 plus $20 tip
Atmosphere: It’s an oasis of soothing music, pillar candles and muted colors.
Service: Cordial but not overly solicitous.
Experience: I was greeted by Honey Buns guru Santha, who explained what the treatment would entail (exfoliating loofah scrub, honey-infused masking, gluteus maximus oil massage and an application of warm citrus paraffin), and directed me to disrobe, lie face down on the table and cover myself with a sheet. I was rather skittish at first, but under Santha’s patient tutelage and expert ministrations, I soon forgot that a complete stranger was scrubbing, massaging and rubbing my posterior. By the time warm paraffin compresses were applied, I was considering proposing marriage. Santha warned me that people are simply unable to comprehend how smooth their rear end feels afterward, and that they feel the urge to keep touching their own butts in amazement. I must confess that I fell into that category myself, even as I type this, probably even while you’re reading this.
Would you do it again? This isn’t something I would get on a regular basis, but it’s something everyone should try at least once. It’s that good.–Bill Breedlove
Honeymoon wax (no hair left anywhere!)
Where: UrbanShe, 1 E. Oak Street, 2W, 312-988-9299
Price: $65 plus $15 tip
Atmosphere: Cozy, with flower-scented candles, a comfortable waxing table, and soothing New Age music.
Service: I was hoping for a fluffy robe, but got a pair of paper panties and a “modesty towel” instead. My aesthetician Joanie was professional, meticulous and friendly. I didn’t feel self-conscious or uncomfortable even though I was awkwardly exposed while she stripped my south of the border bare.
Experience: Talk about taking one for the team! I spent an agonizing hour getting hair ripped out from the most sensitive area of my body. Now before I scare all wax virgins into celibacy, I have to admit I had three strikes against me: 1. It was my first waxing; 2. I forgot to pop an Advil before going; and
3. I was PMSing and my hormones were overly sensitive to pain. (Ladies, the best time to go is immediately after your period.) At least UrbanShe uses hard wax on the extra-sensitive areas, which causes less irritation than strip wax.
Would you do it again? I doubt I’ll subject myself to another waxing, but if I do, it’ll definitely be with Joanie.–Wen Tung
Who are they?
You chose The Bod Squad, a group of daring, intrepid readers, to get primped and pampered in the city’s
top spas. Bill, Mary, Chris and Wen will report back to us every Wednesday in the pages of metromix/RedEye. Read their bios and see their pictures on metromix.com. And while you’re there, tell us about your favorite spa treatments!
Coming up…
Next week, The Bod Squad takes a mud bath, gets scrubbed down with salt and twisted into pretzel shapes. Read all about it onWednesday in metromix/RedEye and on metromix.com!
