From big block parties (St. Pat’s comes to mind) to the bar scene, there are innumerable places to go and things to do for single members of Generation X. But it takes a bit more digging to unearth activities with “significant other” potential for the older set.
They do exist, however, as we learned last year when we went “trolling” for “Where Mature Singles Mingle” (January 2004). Then, as now, we found that the best places to cultivate romantic relationships centered on common interests, and the events were not oriented specifically toward singles or older adults.
We got such a response to that article that we decided to find additional venues and happenings where older singles could comfortably mingle:
Skiing isn’t all ‘downhill’
Chicago-based Lake Shore Ski and Sports Club is not just about downhill skiing–it’s also about cross-country skiing, hiking, biking, tennis, golf and traveling. But mostly the club, which attracts more than 800 people ranging in age from their late 30s to early 70s, is about socializing with those with similar interests, say members.
“We started as a young singles ski club, but we became a club for older people as our members got older,” said membership chair Susan Campione.
She said more newly single people are joining the club. “They are 45, 50, 55 and don’t know where to go,” she said. “They want a place to go where they can socialize with people who have a common interest and perchance meet someone.”
Chicago market research consultant Kathy Zwier, 55, met her husband, engineer Rob Passineau, 50, when she joined the club in 1989, but they didn’t marry until four years ago. “I used the club as a social outlet as well as a group to ski with, but I was in and out of town then,” said Zwier. “When I didn’t have to travel as much I met up again with my husband-to-be. . . . You hear lots of similar stories of people who hooked up after meeting in the club.”
Indeed, several members have moved from single to couple status the last few years, according to retired Chicago policeman Gary Melhart, 64, who married finance and computer security specialist Marla Frank, 47, five years ago. “I think we started a trend among our friends,” said Melhart, who could think of at least three other couples who have since said, “I do.”
Among them were Glen Ellyn couple Cindy Bilek-Halik, a 50-year-old middle school guidance counselor, and Joe Halik, a 55-year-old tool-binder, club veterans who married two years ago.
Asked the best way newbies would get to know other members, Cindy Bilek-Halik recommended they sign up for club events. “I found you get to know other people when you go on the bus trips,” she said. “You become closer to during an extended bus ride.”
In addition, she offered tips on breaking the ice at club socials that are good for meeting people anywhere. “You have to be friendly. Make eye contact. Smile,” she said.
For information on Lake Shore Ski and Sports Club, visit www.lssc.org. Membership information: Susan Campione at 773-325-0401. Social meetings are 7-9 p.m. the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month at Chief O’Neill’s Pub, 3471 N. Elston Ave.
A step in the right direction
Anyone who remembers the “good ol’ days” with fondness will feel at home at southwest suburban Willowbrook Ballroom. From 400 to 600 dancers weaned on rock, bop or “Saturday Night Fever” fill the Willow Springs ballroom on alternate Friday nights for Good Time Charley Singles Dances. Couples and singles who grew up during the big band era, now tango, waltz and fox trot to live bands on Sundays.
For both groups, knowing the steps is not an issue.
“I didn’t know how to dance,” said 76-year-old Shirley Rodriquez of Lyons. “After I lost my husband, my cousin said, `You’ve got to get out of the house.’ That was about 12 years ago.” Turning to her husband of 10 years, Joseph Rodriguez, 82, whom she met at a dance, she said, “He taught me everything I know.” In response, Joseph said, “I didn’t mind. I used to teach dancing. Besides, I was attracted to her.”
People who want to brush up on their footwork can take line-dancing Mondays and Tuesdays, salsa Wednesdays and swing Sunday nights. (Ballroom lessons resume in February.)
Sometimes attendees find more than a dance partner. Widow Rosemary Accettura, 74, of Oak Forest danced into a relationship with Oak Forest widower Randy Doll, 75. “I even met my (late) husband at the Paradise Ballroom. I love to dance,” Accettura said. They were chatting on a recent Sunday with Valerie Southard, 69, of Bartlett and Jim Huemmer, 73, of Hickory Hills until the band struck up a tango. As Southard started back towards the dance floor with Huemmer, he said, “This is a good place to come to meet and get to know other people. When you go dancing you forget about everything else.”
With a mailing list of 4,000 singles, Willowbrook owner Birute “Mrs. B” Jodwalis sees the ballroom as a social center too. “People come not just to dance. They listen to the music and talk,” Jodwalis said. Her tip to single newcomers is to sit or stand around to the right side of the room. “Couples sit on the left,” she said.
Willowbrook Ballroom, 8900 S. Archer Rd., Willow Springs 708-839-1000, www.willowbrookballroom.com. Good Time Charley Singles Dance, 8 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Jan. 21; $8. Ballroom Dancing, with Teddy Lee Band, 1-4:30 p.m. Jan. 16; $12. Other Chicago area dance locations: www.ballroomchicago.com.
A bridge to meeting people
Surprise. Bridge is not just a cause of divorce. According to some Chicago area bridge club directors, players have actually met their spouses playing duplicate bridge, a competitive form of the game.
“There have been many couples who first met at bridge clubs,” said Donald Addis of Darien, said. The 75-year-old Addis not only operates a weekly duplicate game at Oak Park’s Fox Recreation Center but also met his wife, Jackie, 60, playing bridge. The couple played against each other before partnering at the bridge table and then the breakfast table.
Jackie and Don Addis are co-chairs of the American Contract Bridge League Nationals to be held in Chicago in 2007. Married 13 years, they still are bridge partners. “Don and I really don’t have problems playing together. We don’t get snippy,” she said.
Playing bridge together also united Addis’ friends, Kathy and Jim Burt of Woodridge, who met at a duplicate game, even though they played at different skill levels. They kept crossing paths at bridge games until he asked her to play. “It must have been hard on him. I was so bad and he is so good. But he was very nice about it,” she said.
Both Kathy Burt and Jackie Addis advocate bridge clubs and even tournaments as a social milieu. “It’s a very non-threatening way of meeting people. You chat naturally without feeling like its a meet market,” Jackie Addis said.
Acorn Duplicate Bridge Club, Oak Park, Fox Recreation Center. Oak Park Avenue and Jackson, is 7 p.m. Thursday. For information, call director Donald Addis at 630-515-0101. For other club locations and times, see www.acbl.org. Daily club fees range from $4 to $8.50.
Tour amour
“I have had a lifelong interest in architecture,” said Judith Spurgin, 68, of Chicago. So, after her divorce, she decided to look for something that she would really enjoy doing and applied to the Chicago Architecture Foundation’s docent program. She was accepted to the class of 1983. The program’s 11 weeks of intensive study and lectures brought her more than an architecture education–she met classmate Dick Spurgin and the two were married in 1989.
Judith, 68, and Dick, 73, still give architecture tours: He specializes in the Beverly neighborhood, she in downtown art deco. “We continue to be docents and go to early music concerts and Carleton [College] reunions,” she said. The docent program is a chance to meet new people and make new friends, according to Judith Spurgin. “People there are very welcoming. The majority of them are in their 50s, 60s and older. Before Dick and I married they became my social life.”
Chicago Architecture Foundation, 224 S. Michigan Ave., 312-922-3432. For docent and other volunteer opportunities see www.architecture.org.
Get some class
It took former legal secretary Eileen Kuenneth a year to sign up for a film studies course offered by the University of Chicago’s continuing education department. “I thought I really need to get out and meet people . . . and I always liked film,” said Kuenneth. What delayed the venture was a reluctance to go alone. “I hoped to find someone who would go with me. But nobody thought it sounded like as much fun as I did. Finally, I got up the nerve to just go. Now, I wouldn’t think anything of it,” said Kuenneth, who signed on in 1984.
She not only liked the class, she also liked her classmates, many of whom took the same course every time it was offered. “You can do that because different things are covered each time,” she said. Among her classmates was Chuck Kuenneth, a computer programmer-analyst who had been taking the class since the 1970s. Chatting during breaks, she and Chuck learned they had other common interests. The film buffs married in 1991.
U. of C. official Laura Dini estimates that most people taking film and other humanities courses offered at the Graham School of Continuing Studies fall in the 40-60 age range. “The Graham’s business courses draw a younger crowd. But humanities tends to be older because that is when more people can take courses they are interested in,” Dini said.
Graham School of General Studies Humanities Arts Division, 773-702-1722, 800-997-9689 www.grahamschool.uchicago.edu. Most classes held at Gleacher Center, 450 N. City Front Plaza, Chicago. Classes average $285.
Try the haute bar scene
Restaurant consultant and former one sixtyblue chef Patrick Robertson is betting that older, sophisticated singles would try the bar scene if the atmosphere were right. To prove the point, he is encouraging singles to dine along the large wide bar at 22 Restaurant and Bar Moderne (22 E. Hubbard St.).
“We think there is a sense of community feeling at the bar,” Robertson said. “Dining at the bar is hot right now in New York and L.A. We think that can happen here. A single who might feel uncomfortable dining at a table alone, can come in here and eat at the bar. . . . Just because we have good food here is not to say it isn’t also a place where people can interact and have fun.”
22 Restaurant and Bar Moderne, 22 E. Hubbard St.; 312-527-4900. Open 5:30-10 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 5:30-11 p.m. Friday and Saturday, beverage service in the lounge until 2 a.m. Friday and Saturday, closed Sunday.
