Of all the e-mails Q got in response to its “A Clean Giveaway” contest–25 lots of goodies being doled out to readers–two stand out.
“It’s all junk!” said Laura Rymut Block.
Equally astute was Jack Ryder: “A shredder would have taken care of about half of the lots that you have.”
But they were in the minority. More than 600 e-mails poured in from readers hoping to grab some of this loot while helping me clean off my desk at the same time. The entries were funny, touching and sensible. Others were intriguing (“I’m 40 years old and am tired of just being `nice’ and `cute.’ I’m more than two-dimensional and want everyone to see that! I know the sharks will help!”).
Anyway, thanks to everyone who entered. Sorry you can’t all get something. Then again, I’m planning a garage sale in the spring. . . .
Here’s a rundown of the winners:
Lot 1, Bazooka Joe press kit (22 entries): For Monica Feld, this prize took her back to her childhood and how she shared her Bazooka bubble gum with her brother. “Both of us were avid gum chewers, and we have proof of that today. We both have a mouthful of fillings. I promise that I will share the gum and more cavities with him.”
We also have to mention the adventurous Ian Burke, a 3rd grader at Kingsley School in Evanston: “I want to chew the stale gum to make my teeth really strong.”
Time for the disclaimer: Q is not responsible for chipped teeth.
Lot 2, a rubber tomato (27 entries): We have brought domestic tranquility to Cynthia Grant’s home. “My 3-year-old son wanted to buy a squishy rubber tomato he found at a Wal-Mart in Niles before we left for a 14-hour road trip to North Carolina for Thanksgiving,” she wrote. “I said no. Big mistake. For the next two days (cooped up in a mini-van with his baby brother) all I heard was, `Where’s my tomato, Mommy? I want my rubber tomato!’ And, of course, we could not find another stinkin’ tomato at any Wal-Marts.”
Lot 3, a silver key (9 entries): Q may be opening an Ohio bureau. The winner was Charlotte Lilly, who wrote, “I will trade your Lot 3 for my two keys that must be important someplace. . . . I will throw in an extra key from my previous Columbus, Ohio, home.”
And Lot 3 is no longer a mystery key. Wrote Conrad Pomykala, the locksmith at the University of Illinois at Chicago, Lot 3 is “for a Steelcase brand desk/file/cabinet, which would have `FR 095′ stamped on the lock face. It’ll also fit `AA 295′ or `LL 399′ in non-Steelcase products.”
Lot 4, the solid gold, diamond-encrusted Elvis snow globe (134 entries): Well, you would have thought it was made of gold and diamonds. This lot generated some wonderful responses–there were poems, requests set to Elvis’ songs, desperate pleas. My favorite was from a guy who said his wife grew up idolizing Elvis and modeled herself on him. “She said if I don’t win this darn thing for her, she’ll shoot my TV.”
The Q judges, though, gave the nod to Joyce Padera. “I would like it for my mother,” she wrote. “She has Alzheimer’s and was a huge Elvis fan. When she hears the old Elvis songs or watches an old Elvis movie, she hums and smiles. Since she cries now more than she smiles, it might help.”
Lot 5, the outdated business cards (30 entries): Our winner was Anu Valia. “I have decided to make my plea for your treasure the only way I know how: to convince you using immaculate grammar and spelling,” she wrote. “Your article states that this is one way I can win these cards, and I am determined to do so. Also, it’s very good practice for my upcoming SATs. So how am I doing? Since I do not have much else to say, I have decided to include a really long word that is spelled correctly: pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. There it is! It might not be in the dictionary because it’s a medical term, but you can check!” We’ll take her word for it.
Lot 6, the 34 glossy photos (31 entries): We really felt sorry for Butch Brzeski. “My wife has decided my space is now the garage. So I have put a refrigerator, portable heater, TV and couch in there. However, I need to cover up the walls, and the 8-by-10s would be perfect.”
Lot 7, the Jughead bobblehead (62 entries): Whit Spurgeon’s plea got us: “Three years ago I was in a play where I had to wear a hat just like his, shorts with suspenders and army boots and pretend I was a 12-year-old boy. I was 37. Take pity on me.”
Also worth a mention: “My son is 7 and would like the bobblehead. I don’t really want him to have the bobblehead. He already has enough bobbleheads, but I told him I’d write. There you have it.”
We’re sending her a puppy.
Lot 8, Dave Thomas’ face on a fan (13): Wrote Patricia Price: “As a woman of a certain age, I would get a lot of use from a fan that smiles at my `power surges.’ My daughter simply laughs. Her day will come, and I can pass on the fan to her.” Glad to help.
Lot 9, the books “How to Live With an Idiot” and “We Got Fired!” (20 entries): Sheila McGlone needs this more than anyone else, especially the first book. “Last week, after the big snow, my husband volunteered to shovel us out so we could get to work. So he shoveled a path exactly one shovel-width wide down the driveway, and when he got to where the newspaper was lying (the Tribune, of course) he swerved the path around the newspaper, then continued shoveling toward the street. Help!”
Our suggestion: Read the book, then bop him on the head with it.
Lot 10, two coffee mugs (18 entries): Joan Olson wins for her colorful plea: “Christmas gift opening was interrupted when `someone’s’ elbow knocked the end table, sending flying a burning cranberry candle and a half-full prize coffee mug, 17 years old. These crashed into the wall, splashing wax, coffee and mug fragments onto curtains and carpet. Indescribable! A happy home awaits a new prize mug.”
Lot 11, miscellaneous office supplies (29 entries): A reader, asking to be identified only as “Clipless,” is our winner.
“1. I work for United Airlines. Need I say more?
“2. I also spell `miscellaneous’ correctly.”
Lot 12, the promotional candle from “Menopause the Musical” (16 entries): We were afraid to say no to GiGi Whitmore. “I’d like the candle, so when I dim the lights and dance to `I Am Woman,’ exorcising my menopausal demons, I can go toward the candle flame to light my way back to . . . hopefully . . . reality by daybreak. Never mind! Forget I asked for it! Who needs it anyway! Geez, why would I want something like that? . . . Well, then again, it would be nice to have it, so . . .”
Lot 13, two plastic sharks (39 entries): From Steve Kinder: “Since I was young I dreamed of being a movie director. My life took other paths, but the dream lives on. Had I been able to go into film, my first movie would have been a remake of `Jaws.’ Over the years, I’ve even drawn storyboards of what the film would have looked like. Enclosed is one of them, and you can see where you come in. I have Lake Michigan, I know someone with a boat, I can hire actors . . . but I have no shark. Help my dream come true.”
Lot 14, plastic maracas (19 entries): Another tough call, but the judges liked Alan Wagner: “I play Ringo in local Beatle band The Cavern Beat. As a longtime starving musician, I’ve learned to keep my expenses low. When one of our maracas started popping its head off during `I’ve Just Seen a Face,’ we simply started using only one.”
Lot 15, the ear paper clip and nose pencil sharpener (18 entries): Dylan Pinto, a 5th grader from Walker Intermediate School in Tinley Park, made a pitch we couldn’t refuse: “. . . I have other rubber body parts. I want to make a body once I get every part. After I have all the parts I will send you a picture, and the rubber guy can be your friend.” And a Tribune subscriber, we trust.
Lot 16, a City of Chicago “Keep your dog leashed” sign (30 entries): Jessica Ross Hochman gets it. “An associate attorney brings her small, shrill poodle into our Wheaton firm on occasion,” she wrote. “One day, the dog swapped its standard incessant yapping for a stealthier style. He slipped into the partner’s office and quietly relieved himself. I’d like to hang your sign over the partner’s soiled rug.”
Lot 17, 22 press kit folders (9 entries): We liked Cory and Cyndi Fosco’s straightforward request: “As the parents of two home-school children, we would love to receive Lot 17. Even though folders aren’t that expensive, the company logos, press releases, etc., might be a great educational opportunity; which is invaluable. Obviously, the kids who will stuff their `homework’ in them proudly will cherish them.”
Lot 18, a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey souvenir program (10 entries): Dan Meier, we’re here to help. “I took my granddaughter to see them this year, but I forgot to buy her a program,” he wrote. “I told her we would get one on the way out, but I forgot. She didn’t bring it up until we were on the way home, and I felt like an idiot. Grandpas are not supposed to forget. So I would like to show the special powers of grandpas by getting her one now.”
Lot 19, the 200 soccer cards (5 entries): How could we say no to Foreman High School math teacher Mike Riley? “My students can utilize them in a geometry project. They will turn them into truncated isosahedron models (soccer balls).” Send us a photo, Mike.
Lot 20, the broken mini-tape recorder (no entries): Anyone need a paperweight?
Lot 21, the “All Shook Up” fan (11 entries): Some good requests here, but Catherine Vaughn takes it home. “My husband is running the automation for the show [which finished its run at the Cadillac Palace Theatre on Jan. 23]. I could give it to him as an opening night gift, and then our 2-year-old could use it to fan herself.”
Lot 22, the rubber Santa (28 entries): Betty Feltes, it’s yours. “The thought that our `Sucker Santa’ (as my son and I have affectionately called a 2-inch flat rubber Santa with suction cups for more than 25 years) would finally have a companion, especially during those long, dark months packed away in the basement, overwhelms me.”
Lot 23, the Tribune nameplate (16 entries): At the risk of setting this kid on the wrong path, we’re going with Caitlin Cosme. “My 15th birthday [was] Tuesday, Jan. 11,” she wrote. “As well as this making a fantastic birthday present, I am also an aspiring journalist. Therefore this nameplate would hang proudly on my door as a reminder of my dream to become a writer.”
Lot 24, the 15 Go! Go! Go! signs (6 entries): Judy Scheuing, c’mon down. “My son is in the marching band at Glenbard West. I really want to encourage (embarrass?) him by writing Go Trumpet 24, so his fans can cheer appropriately.”
Lot 25, three Tribune Good Eating Ribfest seat cushions (10 entries): Shantelle Thomas deserves it. “Every Labor Day weekend my husband and I have a Ribfest for our friends/family. This year, I’m expecting our first baby a few weeks before the event. If ever someone needed a seat cushion for a Ribfest, it’s me.”
Send us a baby photo. We promise it won’t be offered in our next giveaway.
