Ah humans, unpredictable creatures they are. That’s why important events like championship games can’t be entrusted to carbon-based lifeforms. Leave it to the video game geeks to save us from chaos.
The folks at Madden NFL 2005 have taken all of the guesswork out of the Super Bowl and simulated the showdown between the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles.
Digital players can’t go down with injuries or hold out for bigger contracts. At least until the next collective bargaining agreement.
1ST QUARTER
Defense rules the roost, but the Patriots’ Tom Brady manages to sneak in a touchdown pass to Troy Brown.
Score: Patriots 7, Eagles 0.
2ND QUARTER
Donovan McNabb gets the Eagles offense going with a 25-yard scramble. Then he finds Terrell Owens in the end zone. Well of course he’s playing. He’s digital!
The Patriots respond with a field goal.
Score: Patriots 10, Eagles 7
3RD QUARTER
A little more action. Brady hits speedy wideout Deion Branch, who scampers 30 yards to paydirt. Eagles running back Brian Westbrook slips through the middle for a score.
Score: Patriots 17, Eagles 14
4TH QUARTER
The final stanza begins with the obligatory Adam Vinatieri-field-goal-in-the-fourth quarter. McNabb throws a scoring strike to Freddie Mitchell, whose program wasn’t deleted by Rodney Harrison after all.
But the Eagles, holding onto a 21-20 lead, are powerless to stop Patriots running back Corey Dillon, who methodically marches down the field before running in the game-winner. New England goes for a two-point conversion and fails.
FINAL SCORE: Patriots 26, Eagles 21. Game over.
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye.
