TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Richard Hamilton’s braids will advertise Goodyear tires. What could your hair advertise?
TOPIC 2: Brett Favre’s teammate said he doesn’t expect Favre back. Is this to be believed?
TOPIC 3: Would you ever fire a coach or a player in the middle of a game like that ABA owner?
TOPIC 4: Chris Chelios is going to play minor-league hockey. What does that say about the 43-year-old?
TOPIC 5: Did Super Bowl Week have anything to do with the Orlando Bloom-Kate Bosworth break up?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Professional Horseshoe Tossing.
Absolutely not. The name of that teammate? Lying Lyerson.
Oh, sure. I fire coaches and players all the time. But nothing happens. Same as with that owner.
That he’s in top physical condition, except for the 87 concussions.
A little. Bosworth kept ridiculing Bloom because the game’s in Jacksonville and not Orlando.
PHIL THOMPSON
Hello, Velcro? I have a figure in mind, let’s see if you can meet it.
Maybe when he said he’s “retiring,” he meant he’s going to re-tire his monster truck.
You kidding? I would have fired Jonathan Quinn during a play?
They’ll have to install a new category: power chair goals.
Orlando wants to be ready in case some starlet’s wardrobe malfunctions.
LEO EBERSOLE
Soil erosion.
I believe it, and I believe he’s
headed to the “MNF” broadcast booth as soon as it’s official.
I play fantasy sports. What do you think?
Uh, his life’s goal is to shatter his pelvis?
I blame T.O., but then, I also blame him for global warming.
WHIZZER
Pet dandruff. I must find a new stylist.
If Favre’s teammate said the sky was falling, would you believe him? Good day to you, sir!
No, never. I would ask them to get me a pizza and then change the locks while they’re out.
It means he’ll be playing PeeWee hockey in the year 2014.
Really? They’re not, ah, together anymore? Interesting. I gotta make a call.
BAG BOY
UPS. See what brown can do for you.
Yes. Brett, you’re done. Don’t embarrass yourself, and, please, stop embarrassing the Bears.
I fired Greenfield, Thompson, Ebersole and Whizzer two
questions ago.
That he really does miss playing for the Blackhawks.
He’s British, right? Yeah, see, the accent can only carry you so far. Wanker.
