Movie remakes are nothing new. What is new: Our generation of stars no longer shies away from roles made famous by Hollywood legends. Take Ice Cube and Ashton Kutcher (please). Cube has signed on to star in an updated version of “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House,” which starred screen great Cary Grant. And Kutcher stars in “Guess Who”–a remake of “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”–in the role Oscar winner Sidney Poitier made famous. Big shoes to fill. Who fills them better?
WHY THEY’RE QUALIFIED TO PLAY THESE ROLES
Ice Cube.
Mix one starring turn in “Anaconda” and a dash of “Ghosts of Mars” with a powerhouse performance in “Torque,” and you’ve got a star.
Ashton Kutcher.
Ashton has rocketed to A-list status on the strength of “Just Married,” “My Boss’ Daughter” and “Dude, Where’s My Car?” And yet the Academy overlooks him every year.
WINNER: Cube. “Friday” and “Barbershop” are worth all the flops combined.
HOW THEY RESEMBLE THE LEGEND THEY’RE REPLACING
Ice Cube.
Cary Grant was born in England, and we’re guessing he wasn’t a big gangsta rap fan. So we’re left with this: Each man has at least one “C” in his name. This just in: Cube’s real name is O’Shea Jackson. We got nothin’.
Ashton Kutcher.
Sidney Poitier co-starred in “The Jackal” with Bruce Willis, who is the ex-husband of Demi Moore, who, as we all know, employs Ashton as a nanny.
WINNER: Ashton. “Ice Cube” and “family comedy” just don’t mesh very well. Witness “Are We There Yet?”
WHAT THEY BRING TO THE ROLE
Ice Cube.
The ability to star in at least two sequels. Remember “Friday After Next”?
Ashton Kutcher.
The “I am totally confused right now” look. Look for that look in “Guess Who.”
WINNER: Ashton. Chicks dig the “totally confused right now” look.
OTHER MOVIES THEY CAN REMAKE
Ice Cube.
“XXX” in Vin Diesel’s role. Oh wait, he’s doing that.
Ashton Kutcher.
He can do another reversed-race remake by starring in “Rush Hour 4” in Chris Tucker’s role with a Canadian martial arts star taking over for Jackie Chan.
WINNER: Ashton. We’d actually pay to see that.
OVERALL WINNER: It’s Ashton by a cowlick. Being paired with Bernie Mac in “Guess Who” guarantees at least a few laughs. A few forced laughs. You know what, forget we brought it up.
