It would seem that quite a bit has changed since 1998, the last year the Bulls made the playoffs. Or has it? On second glance, the more things changed the more they remained the same. Wait, that phrase doesn’t even make sense. Or does it? Let’s see.
GAY CARTOONS
1998
Rev. Jerry Falwell warned that the Teletubby Tinky Winky might be gay.
2005
Dr. James Dobson warned that SpongeBob SquarePants might be promoting the gay lifestyle.
Winner: 2005. After all the media attention, SpongeBob is never without a date on Saturday night.
BEN STILLER’S CAREER
1998
Starred in the comedy classic “There’s Something About Mary.”
2005
Starred in the comedy “Meet the Fockers.”
Winner: 1998. Did you notice we didn’t say “Meet the Fockers” was a classic?
Yeah, you’re a sharp one.
RICHEST MAN
1998
Bill Gates, with a net worth of $51 billion.
2005
Bill Gates, with a net worth of $46.5 billion.
Winner: Yeah, like we’re going to say $46.5 billion is the losing number. No chance.
MALE SEXUALITY
1998
The male impotency pill Viagra is approved by the FDA.
2005
Male impotency pills are as common as Tylenol.
Winner: Not sure. Get back to me in 2029.
THE SPORTING LIFE
1998
Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire electrify baseball with their home-run chase.
2005
Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire electrify Congress with their steroid denials.
Winner: 1998. It was a much simpler time, wasn’t it?
DONALD TRUMP
1998
The Donald was in talks with Showtime to play himself in a weekly soap opera called “Trump Tower.”
2005
“The Apprentice” is waning but has become a TV staple.
Winner: Showtime viewers. “Trump Tower” never aired.
Overall winner: 2005. We’re all about the here and now.
Plus, RedEye wasn’t around back then, so we’re a little biased.
