1. Enough already
The next time somebody calls Kerry Wood a “young pitcher,” remind them that when Wood made his major-league debut, Mark Prior was 17 years old.
2. Surreal enough for you?
If the White Sox aren’t for real, then neither am I.
3. Sappy story
A Florida company is auctioning off five pounds of unopened Warren Sapp fan mail. Ten to one says whoever wins the auction will be buying one of his own letters.
4. Playoff preview
Is it fair to compare Ben Gordon to Michael Jordan? Not until he hits a game-winner in the playoffs or plunks down
100 grand in Atlantic City.
5. Weird Stat of the Day
The White Sox are 10-4 but haven’t had anything longer than a two-game winning streak.
6. Thought you should know
Corey Patterson’s younger brother, Eric, is hitting .465 for the Cubs’ Class A Peoria farm club with 10 stolen bases. And, oh yes, 11 walks. So maybe they’re not related after all.
7. Some of this is true
IOC President Jacques Rogge warned the five cities vying for the 2012 Summer Olympics to obey ethics rules, stay out of a bidding war and only offer bribes if they’re absolutely sure they can get away with it.
8. Too stuffy
Just once I’d like to see an NFL prospect show up for the draft wearing jeans, a ripped T-shirt and a sideways baseball cap. It will happen one day, and it will be glorious.
9. So long, You
You know what I’d love to see? The Packers take a QB in the first round. Just as a reminder that He Who We Do Not Name is almost gone.
FIVE THINGS…
Five ways Paul Tagliabue could announce the Bears’ top pick:
– “Oh Lord, they did it again.”
– “Somebody get me my bifocals, I don’t believe what I’m reading.”
– “I’ve never heard of this guy. Who is Homer Sexual? Why is Angelo giggling?”
– “And the Bears pick … their noses. But seriously, folks …”
– “The Bears select Ronnie Brown–of Southwest Missouri State.”
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye
