Blame it on the Rocket.
The Cubs have been spiraling downhill since, oh, Jan. 12, 2004. That’s the day that Roger Clemens decided 78 days of retirement was plenty.
Had Clemens not been with his hometown Houston Astros a year ago, the Cubs might have finished with 92 wins, not 89, and tied for the wild-card spot. But Clemens pitched the Astros to three wins at Wrigley Field in 2004, including two in one-run games.
Clemens was well on his way to another victory Tuesday night before the Cubs got an unexpected reprieve, thanks to a team enduring a worse run of karma than even the group managed by Dusty Baker.
An early exit by Clemens forced Houston manager Phil Garner to try to get five outs from his closer, Brad Lidge, and the Astros found a way to lose their seventh straight.
No wonder one of Clemens’ teammates, a classy veteran, glanced his way earlier this season and said, “He doesn’t belong on this team.”
Put the finest racing engine in the family four-door sedan, add bald tires, a car seat or two and dangle an air freshener from the rearview mirror and you’ve got the automotive equivalent of Clemens and the 2005 Astros.
That is, a fine piece of machinery wasted by mismatched parts.
Clemens, with little question the best pitcher in the majors, finds himself on arguably the most disappointing team.
Since seemingly walking away from baseball after the 2003 World Series, when he was in a Yankees uniform, the Rocket has been prolific in his supposed retirement.
I wouldn’t read too much into Clemens’ night ending early Tuesday.
There was some concern about tightness in his right groin, but longtime watchers know that he’ll be fine unless he runs into either kryptonite or starts preparing for games the way Jeff Gordon got ready to sing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.”
OK, Jeff, it’s Wrigley Field, not Wrigley Stadium. Has been since 1926, when it stopped being known as Cubs Park.
And just about every 12-year-old can sing the song without looking at a set of words, as it appeared you were doing when you fell hopelessly behind the crowd, which wound up booing you. Your act was as weak as the two lineups on the field, and that’s saying something.
Between them, the Cubs and Astros have averaged 3.1 runs per game over the last three weeks. As a frame of reference, the 1962 Mets averaged 3.9.
Shades of Marv Throneberry.
When the Cubs scored four runs in the eighth, capitalizing on Lidge’s wildness, it was their biggest inning since May 9.
Garner had rushed Lidge into the game when the Cubs started getting to Chad Qualls.
That probably wouldn’t have happened had the 42-year-old Clemens not experienced the tightness in his groin. He had cruised through five scoreless innings, allowing only two singles while striking out six.
Leg injuries were what finally forced Nolan Ryan to give it up at age 46 in 1993. Clemens battled groin injuries at times during his four years with the Yankees.
But the temptation at this point is to say that Clemens is never going to get old. Perhaps his brothers, noted barbecue chefs, have found a magic elixir to slather onto slabs of ribs.
Hard to believe, but it has been almost nine years (and 139 victories) since general manager Ron Schueler declared Clemens to be officially over the hill.
He did this in explaining why he signed Jaime Navarro rather than Clemens in the winter of 1996-97, when Clemens went to Toronto only because the White Sox would not return his interest.
And what about Clemens’ appearance at Wrigley with the Yankees in that memorable interleague series in 2003?
Because Juan Acevedo served up a homer to Eric Karros, Clemens lost to Kerry Wood, who struck out 11 in his 7 2/3 innings.
With Clemens seemingly in his last season, it appeared the torch had been passed to the next generation of Texans.
Uh, not so fast.
In the almost two seasons since then, Wood has gone 18-17 with a 3.78 earned-run average, working 293 innings. Clemens is 32-11 with a 3.00 earned-run average, working 411 innings.
There’s only one bit of good news for the Cubs: At least that number isn’t 33-11.
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progers@tribune.com
