TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Compare the Dodgers visiting the Sox to the Red Sox visiting the Cubs.
TOPIC 2: What in the world is Carl Everett talking about?
TOPIC 3: The new 100 meters record is 9.77 seconds. What could you do in 9.77 seconds?
TOPIC 4: Your level of interest for golf’s U.S. Open equals your level of interest for …
TOPIC 5: What did you get Dusty Baker for his birthday Wednesday?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Honestly, I just don’t have the energy.
Somebody isn’t taking his meds!
Tie the 100 meters world record … while eating a burrito.
That thingy. You know, that thing they have … oh, what is it called? Ah, the NBA Finals.
A tie, by mistake. That means on Father’s Day I’ll have to give my dad the left-fielder I bought.
PHIL THOMPSON
Red Sox fans wouldn’t come to the Cell asking, “Where are all the sushi stands?”
If I heard right, ‘roid-raging gay soldiers will destroy 99 percent of Wrigley. Paraphrasing, of course.
Well, if I’m Bag Boy, I’d say
“shower.”
… Blackhawks hockey.
Or NHL hockey. Or any hockey.
A Corey Patterson Rock ‘Em
Sock ‘Em Robot, but none of the punches make contact.
LEO EBERSOLE
As a quasi-member of the sports media, I refuse to acknowledge teams west of the Mississippi.
Silly Carl, speaking in code again. What he’s really trying to say is: “I’m an idiot.”
Injure myself. And I think that breaks Frank Thomas’ personal record too.
… Tennis’ U.S. Open.
More holy water. It’s Kabbalah water that I found on sale, but he doesn’t have to know.
WHIZZER
Dodgers faced worse traffic getting to the airport.
No idea. Not a one. But when he gets back from Mars, let’s throw him a party.
Convince Bag Boy that Coach Ditka’s on the phone and wants to talk to him.
… ABC’s fall lineup.
A T-shirt that reads “In Whizzle We Foshizzle.”
BAG BOY
I wasn’t alive in 1918 or 1959.
Just win now, baby.
I don’t pay any attention to anyone batting below .270.
Kick Phil’s ass.
… Anything involving Paris Hilton. Read that anyway you like.
One of those singing
Big Mouth Billy Bass fish.
Get your own batteries.
