TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: What’s the best way to discuss the sox-indians series with a sox fan?
TOPIC 2: Should every Monday night have two NFL games?
TOPIC 3: FoxSports.com wants to know: Who is the NFL’s sexiest man?
TOPIC 4: Why did the Texans fire their offensive coordinator after just two games?
TOPIC 5: Where do you keep your Emmys?
JIMMY GREENFIELD
Take hands, apply to your neck, make choking motion. Then run like hell.
No, but every NFL game should be played over two Mondays. I know. I just blew your mind.
I refuse to answer on the grounds that my beard, I mean wife, may read this.
It was discovered that as a boy he attended Terry Shea University.
I love my Emmy. Emmys, Emmys, Emmys. Here it goes down. Right on top of my belly.
PHIL THOMPSON
Talking through the bottom of a cocktail glass. Straight, no ice, and keep ’em coming.
Only if players in the “B” game wear uniforms that reflect their personalities–like T.O. in a diaper.
Clearly it’s Eagles coach Andy Reid. I am the walrus, coo-coo ca-choo.
Because the Texans have been scoring in fractions.
Leo holds mine for me while he’s riding my coattails.
LEO EBERSOLE
1. Ply Sox fan with liquor. 2. Fit Sox fan with straightjacket. 3. Compare batting orders.
Yes. Phil gets more satisfaction out of watching his fantasy players fail live.
That dashing Al Davis, at least when his teeth are in.
They found out he was John Shoop in disguise.
I keep them where the cast of “Everybody Loves Raymond” can’t get their grubby old mitts on them.
WHIZZER
Via U.S. Cellular phone service, of course. (I just made $5,000 for saying that.)
Only if the TV networks promise that Ellen DeGeneres won’t host either.
Ask Phil. He’s the fantasy expert.
He kept calling for the left-fielder to ice the puck.
On the dresser right next to my three Super Bowl rings. God I love eBay.
BAG BOY
Use plenty of expletives and never mention how Jacobs Field is sweeter than The Cell.
Actually, Tuesdays should have one. Wednesdays and Thursdays too.
I’m comfortable saying it has been–and always will be–Coach Ditka.
They’ve scored 14 total points, 31 points less than the Bears. It was inevitable.
I haven’t won one of those either. Sigh.
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E-mail redeyesports@tribune.com.
