Greetings from Cloud 9, everybody.
Yeah, I am still up here celebrating that huge Bears win. I’m in no real hurry to come down and watch the White Sox blow another game to the Indians.
So if it’s all right with you, I’ll stay up here until the next Bears game, Sunday against Cincinnati.
Actually, it’s time for a confession. I wasn’t planning on watching this one. Based on how dormant these franchises have been, I scribbled this note on my calendar: “Bears vs. Bengals. 9/25. Could be a good time to watch golf.”
Well, golf will have to wait. My Bears are back with a vengeance.
Prediction: Bears 28, Bengals 10. The defense finally gets their act together and scores three touchdowns. Kyle Orton throws another touchdown pass and has a QB rating of 120. We love you, Kyle. I said he was better than Rex Grossman all along. I just didn’t say it out loud.
Hey, speaking of being on clouds, I just got the memo about this new team in Chicago, the Sky.
Nice name for our WNBA team. Real nice. They have cute colors and a sweet logo too. It’s UCLA meets the Chicago skyline. I can’t wait to get a Sky cap.
Let’s assume that all of you ladies out there didn’t get the brochure and info packet. I can e-mail you the PowerPoint, but let me cover the broad strokes here.
First and foremost, we expect your owners to be bumbling goofs. That should create a trickle-down effect through management and players. Soon, mediocrity will reign.
We expect players to miss many, many games due to nagging and unheard-of injuries.
We expect both the head coaches and assistants to be in way over their heads. Generally speaking, don’t plan on being here more than three years.
We expect your announcers to be the corniest homers on the planet.
We expect you to sell out every game regardless of performance because, well, this is Chicago, and I don’t know why.
We expect you to be overpaid and indifferent toward fans.
And, of course, regardless of your performance this year, we expect a rise in ticket prices next year.
Welcome to Chicago.
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BAG BOY VENTS HIS SPLEEN EVERY FRIDAY IN REDEYE.
