1. What a team
In theaters Friday: Paul Walker and Jessica Alba star in “Into the Blue.” Combined IQ: Whatever Jessica Alba’s is.
2. Have your cake
Jessica Simpson’s planning another Dessert-style beauty product line featuring “body frosting.” So now she’s promoting cannibalism? Well done.
3. Sonic boom
Meanwhile, Ashlee Simpson plays a sold-out show at Metro on Oct. 5. Didn’t know that many people wanted to go deaf.
4. Mr. Clean
Time for another installment of “Organic Dentistry with Matthew McConaughey.”
5. Based on a true story
New Line Cinema will begin production on a new comedy called “Boob Job.” No doubt Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra are already on the casting director’s speed dial.
6. The wait is over
Final screen tests for the next James Bond are going down this week, according to Variety, meaning we can expect a tame and wildly cliched movie in theaters any day now.
7. Sub-zero
The number of American millionaires is on the rise, a new report finds. Unfortunately, the number of American millionaires willing to adopt me remains the same.
8. It’s time for a change
Did you see a whopping 16.2 million viewers tuned in to ABC’s “Commander and Chief”? Just goes to show this country is ready for a female president who looks like a movie star and solves the world’s problems in 55 minutes.
9. Where are we running?
An estimated 50,400 bananas will be consumed Oct. 9 during the running of the Chicago Marathon. One of these will be served with three scoops of ice cream on my couch.
