You’re in agony. You know that song in the commercial, in the club, on the radio, but the title is just . . . out . . . of . . . reach. If you have a cell phone, you can try to end your misery with a 99-cent call. Dial in, play a 15-second song snippet and almost instantly get back a text message naming the song and the artist.
But that seems so soulless. The Tempo Subcommittee on Song Smackdowns decided to pit software — New York-based NMK Inc.’s 1-866-411-SONG — against a trained professional — 97.9-FM The Loop DJ disc jockey Zakk Tyler.
We’ll tell you right now, Tyler’s zillions of gray cells lost out to the machine’s 2.6 million song database. But he didn’t try to sell us a ringtone.
ARTIST, SONG
Massive Attack, “Teardrop”
MACHINE
Wrong. Tried to sell us “Cafe Del Mar” by Energy 52 as a ringtone.
DEEJAY
Wrong
ARTIST, SONG
Johnny Cash, “A Boy Named Sue”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Right
ARTIST, SONG
Dido, “White Flag”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
1/2 “I recognize it’s Dido because her formula hasn’t changed much.”
ARTIST, SONG
Claude Debussy, “Clair de Lune”
MACHINE
Wrong
DEEJAY
Wrong. “It sounds like something I would have listened to while on hold.”
ARTIST, SONG
50 Cent with Eminem, “Gatman and Robbin”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Wrong. “My niece would know that. If I was sitting next to my niece I could have cheated.”
ARTIST, SONG
Louis Prima and Keely Smith, “That Old Black Magic”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Wrong. “That one left me clueless.”
ARTIST, SONG
Ani DiFranco, “32 Flavors”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Wrong
ARTIST, SONG
Marvin Gaye, “Can I Get a Witness”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Wrong. “I could have used my mom’s help on that. Is it becoming apparent that I’ve worked at a rock station all my life?”
ARTIST, SONG
Jay-Z & Linkin Park, “Dirt Off Your Shoulder/Lying From You”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Identified Linkin Park.
ARTIST, SONG
Yes, “Owner of a Lonely Heart”
MACHINE
Right
DEEJAY
Right
Deejay gets the last word: “I’m a rock ‘n’ roller from the past, and a lot of the indie artists . . . while I can appreciate it with rap and their audiences, I haven’t kept up with it.”
