Exactly 20 years ago this week members of the 1985 Chicago Bears recorded “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”
Can you hear it? Are you singing it right now? Of course you are.
Back then, the Bears dominated the NFL with a strong rushing game and a defense that struck fear into the hearts of every offense. Since the 2005 Bears have put together a fine season 20 years later, RedEye has re-written the lyrics to that famous song for today’s players.
Surely this doesn’t mean a Super Bowl is in the bag–it wasn’t back then and isn’t now. But those cheesy lyrics are contagious so let’s cue keyboard player and dial up the electric drum kit. And please, sing along.
The Super Bowl Shuffle:
2005 edition
CHORUS:
We are the Bears’ shufflin’ crew
If Microsoft made us, we’d be Version 2
Our team was weak in seasons past
Plenty even ranked us very next to last
But we rose up from the NFL rubble
Now we’re dusting off the Super Bowl shuffle
MUHSIN MUHAMMAD
This ‘Cat hit town to catch it and run
Thinking the passes would come from Grossman
But now that my passer is a kid named Kyle
I’m making DBs walk the green mile
It didn’t take long for this team to jell
Best part about: I’m not David Terrell
KYLE ORTON
The name is Orton and don’t say “Who?”
I was No. 3 and then No. 2
Now I’m the starter of this offensive crew
One year ago I was benched at Purdue
Some might be begging for me not to play badly
But things could be worse–I could be more “Chadly”
OLIN KREUTZ
I’m Olin Kreutz, king of the line
You might like to know that I’m also Hawaiian
I block the defense into next week
It’s easy to do when you block cheek-to-cheek
Now I’m not here to talk about the past
Mention ‘the punch’ and I’ll kick your …
MIKE BROWN
Safety’s the last thing I give to receivers
“Brown-outs” more like it since I got tackle fever
Back in October I said the team stinks
It’s been six games and we haven’t lost since
Remember the season of 13 and 3?
Let’s do it again, man, hell,
I’d play for free
NATHAN VASHER
Christmas is coming with gifts in the bag
Vasher the Dasher should be my tag
On Tommie, on Ian, Ogunleye and Alex
If defense were reindeer, we’d all be named ‘Blitzen’
Throw the ball, run the ball, it just doesn’t matter
We’ll smack you so hard that your helmet will shatter
BRIAN URLACHER
From sideline to sideline I do roam
Play like a mad dog with a mouth full of foam
No. 54 here and we’ve seen the Pro Bowl
I’m about to force a rhyme: I want a Super Bowl
We’re not here to lose and crumble
We’re just here to do the Super Bowl shuffle
– – –
The 1985 singers and one of their key lyrics
Willie Gault
Now I’m as smooth as a chocolate swirl
I dance a little funky,
so watch me girl
Richard Dent
The sackman’s coming,
I’m your man Dent
If the quarterback’s slow,
he’s gonna get bent
Mike Richardson
I’m L.A. Mike, and I play it cool
They don’t sneak
by me ’cause I’m no fool
Otis Wilson
I’m slick on the floor as I can be
But ain’t no sucker gonna get past me
Gary Fencik
It’s Gary here, and I’m Mr. Clean
They call me “hit man,”
don’t know what they mean
Walter Payton
Well, they call me Sweetness
and I like to dance
Running the ball is like making romance
Jim McMahon
I’m the punky QB known as McMahon
When I hit the turf, I’ve got no plan
Steve Fuller
So bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas
This is for Mike and Papa Bear Halas
Mike Singletary
I’m Samurai Mike I stop ’em cold
Part of the defense, big and bold
William Perry
You’re lookin’ at the Fridge,
I’m the rookie
I may be large, but I’m no dumb cookie
