TODAY’S QUESTIONS
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Brad the Puppet
Adam Caldarelli
TOPIC 1: How did the average Sox fan celebrate the Paul Konerko news?
Dropping to his knees to the floor and screaming, “Ow, my knee just hit a tack!”
First the World Series, now this.
If this keeps up, fans will have to drink champagne via IV drip.
By gleefully tossing Molotov cocktails.
They danced in the streets.
A rough day for me.
By explaining the math to below-average Sox fans.
TOPIC 2: In the end, what do you think made Konerko stay in Chicago?
The Sox didn’t goof around with deferred money. Konerko knew he was wanted.
The Chicago family atmosphere. And by “Chicago family,” I mean “the mob” of fans this city has.
Who wouldn’t want to live in a city that smells of Sweet Chocolate and other perfumes Phil wears?
White Sox are irresistible. Trust me on this one.
The $60 million.
TOPIC 3: What Xmas gift are you getting for the Packers fan in your life?
The book “No. 1 overall draft picks for Dummies.”
A speed pass to “The Jerry Springer Show.”
“The Complete Vegan Cookbook.”
A three-panel comic strip containing Packers season highlights.
A wheel of Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila.
TOPIC 4: THE Bulls are on a roll lately. Put it in perspective.
It’s all about the Bears now. I’ll care about the Bulls in February.
Hey, they’re no White Sox yet. When the Bulls win a World Series, then come talk to me.
They’re like Stephen Baldwin to the Bears’ Alec. The Blackhawks, of course, are Daniel.
I smell championship! No, wait, that’s me. Sorry.
Tim Thomas hasn’t even played yet.
TOPIC 5: Should NFL refs admit mistakes?
Yes, we all should. For example, this Caldarelli kid we’re using? Huge mistake.
Not without the aid of Mr. Public Relations himself, Drew Rosenhaus.
Yes, but only in prime time, and only with Diane Sawyer asking the questions.
If DuPage County prosecutors don’t have to, why should they?
Not when it involves the Giants.
———-
And e-mail us at redeyesports@tribune.com.
