TODAY’S QUESTIONS
Jimmy Greenfield
Phillip Thompson
Leo Ebersole
Whizzer
Bag Boy
TOPIC 1: Specifically, what went wrong for the Bears in Pittsburgh?
Could it be that they have no offense? Hmmm … perhaps that’s it.
Apparently the Bears’ hype didn’t quite reach Pittsburgh. I blame holiday traffic.
It started snowing, and everyone knows the Bears aren’t a cold-weather team.
Bears got out-Beared: Steelers ran the ball, tackled well and reveled in the snow.
Steelers scored first. I knew we were doomed when the Steelers scored first.
TOPIC 2: If Rex Grossman is healthy enough, do you start him next week?
Of course. Kyle Orton has nothing to do with the Bears’ success. Nothing.
That game wasn’t all Kyle Orton’s fault. And he’s only a rookie. But yes, yes you do.
If Jim Harbaugh is healthy enough, I’d start him next week.
Whoa, no mention of Jeff Blake here. How soon they forget.
Sure, but a question: Starting Rex makes the defense tackle better, does it?
TOPIC 3: What are the odds that the Cubs trade for Miguel Tejada?
Pretty low, but they rose substantially right after I gave myself a B-12 shot.
The Cubs will get more use out of a stiff tequila than a Tejada.
Oh, please. Only Ben Affleck latched onto the Red Sox faster.
About the same as the odds of Tejada winning “Dancing With the Stars.”
Zero. But can we send them Corey Patterson as a holiday gift?
TOPIC 4: Should the Pacers grant Ron Artest’s wish and trade him to the Knicks?
The Blue Fairy should grant my wish and turn Artest into a real boy.
He can join fellow ex-Bull Jamal Crawford, then call them something that rhymes with Knicks.
Yes, but only because the Knicks will send 28 draft picks in return.
Think of what that would do for his rap-producing career.
If, as he says, it would make Indiana a better team, then no.
He stays.
TOPIC 5: Does Roger Clemens go back to Boston to finish his career?
Yes, but not until 2022 when he and his sons simultaneously retire from the Red Sox.
Going back to Boston is like getting back with an ex–the ex with the restraining order.
No. He signs with the Texas Rangers to fill their void at “cranky veteran pitcher.”
Not before talking over pros and cons with Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson.
Yes, to win a series for Boston. They’ve suffered for too long.
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