TODAY’S QUESTIONS
TOPIC 1: Name your favorite moment from these Olympics?
Phillip Thompson: When Chad Hedrick’s unnaturally bright teeth corrected my vision.
Leo Ebersole: When that snowboarder was like, “Yeah, I’m totally doing a fakey” … OK, I admit I haven’t watched.
Whizzer: The ice dancing wipeouts. Man, oh, man. Greatest. TV. Event. Ever.
Brian Miller: What? I thought that the Olympics didn’t come around again until 2008.
Evil Super Computer: My fog machine caused skiing delays. Oh, I can wreak havoc LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN.
TOPIC 2: And your least favorite Olympic moment?
Phillip Thompson: That I ever heard the name Johnny Weir, or as one site called him, “Weir Eye for the Skate Guy.”
Leo Ebersole: Turning on the TV for Conan and instead getting Bob Costas handicapping the skeleton field.
Whizzer: The ice dancing wipeouts. Really now, anyone who cheers for that crap is a real sicko.
Brian Miller: Love the curling.
Evil Super Computer: I saw zero computer clock malfunctions. C’mon fellas, loosen up. Cause a little chaos.
TOPIC 3: What should they give the last-place finisher in women’s figure skating?
Phillip Thompson: They should give her the worst woman’s hairstyle ever, the Apolo Ohno.
Leo Ebersole: A week with Paula Abdul.
Whizzer: The role of Ernie in “Muppets on Ice.”
Brian Miller: The comfort in knowing that she finished ahead of Michelle Kwan.
Evil Super Computer: A dot matrix printout of her scores because dot matrix is for losers.
TOPIC 4: Give Vancouver one piece of advice for the 2010 Winter Olympics?
Phillip Thompson: You’re in Canada, so start importing personality right away. No, Jillian Barberie doesn’t count.
Leo Ebersole: Create buzz by renaming events. The biathlon? “Death race.” Two-man luge? “Brokeback sledding.”
Whizzer: Want Canada to win more?
Put the wrong dates on Germany’s invitation.
Brian Miller: Ban rowdy hockey fans from the figure skating events. Stay classy, Vancouver.
Evil Super Computer: Mainframes of Canada, on my signal we crash and bring those Games to their knees!
TOPIC 5: What will you turn your attention to once these Games are done?
Phillip Thompson: Heh-heh, consoling the losing figure skaters. … No, Weir, not you! NOOOOOO!
Leo Ebersole: Come Monday, I’m back to convincing Phil to grow Jheri curls.
Whizzer: Beijing in 2008. Any sports between now and then are just filling time.
Brian Miller: I’m going to finally plan the office ice-cream social that I’ve been putting off for weeks.
Evil Super Computer: Maybe do laundry, catch up on some reading and, of course, GLOBAL DOMINATION!
———-
redeyesports@tribune.com
