1. Tough job
It’s interesting to see “The Da Vinci Code” get such ho-hum reviews. How can anybody make a movie about Jesus, Paris and an evil albino seem boring?
2. Director’s cut
The good news is that there’s still time for Tom Hanks and Co. to re-shoot scenes before the movie comes out here. I’m picturing an alternate ending with a triumphant Jesus telling Hanks, “You can be my wingman any time.”
3. Breakthrough
Scientists have sequenced the last gene in the human genome, though they were a little embarrassed to admit it’s the one that makes men say “pull my finger.”
4. Ivory tower
The photos (above) just don’t look the same without Katie Couric, and by that I mean they’re missing a 7-square-foot wall of teeth.
5. Just a thought
There’s a new rumor that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant, possibly because she’s been spotted living in the same country as Kevin Federline.
6. Mano a woman-o
It’s down to two on “American Idol.” Man vs. woman. Alabama vs. Hollywood. No vocal talent vs. no vocal talent …
7. White whale
A Colombian drug lord accused of overseeing the shipment of 70 tons of cocaine to the U.S. has been arrested. And as a bonus, we have the inspiration for the next Grand Theft Auto game.
8. Two-for-one
So by now you’ve probably read that Nicole Kidman’s engaged. And if she acts now, maybe she can get in on a double wedding at whatever space station Tom Cruise is getting married in.
9. Hefty man
Bill Clinton plans to write a book. Readers are hoping it will be as useful as his 957-page memoir, which doubled nicely as a boat anchor.
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
