Florida is generally regarded as a tropical paradise, blessed with endless sunshine, lovely beaches and all the pina coladas you can drink. But people are not alone in adapting well to the state’s inviting conditions. Wildlife officials say one reason for the recent spate of alligator attacks there is that there are so many of the sharp-toothed reptiles. They estimate the state’s gator population has grown to about 1 million–more than double the number of people in Miami.
It’s times like these that life in gray, frigid, snowy Illinois begins to look pretty good. One child of our acquaintance noted with relief, “Illinois has no animals that can hurt you.” He was onto something. Here, you will be relieved to know, your chance of being fatally attacked by wildlife is very close to zero.
That’s not true of many places that are reputed to have more temperate weather and more striking scenery. Arizona has Gila monsters–lizards that are not only poisonous, but have a disconcerting tendency, when they bite, to hang on for dear life. California, Utah and Colorado have mountain lions, which have been known to prey on humans. Montana, Wyoming and Alaska have ample habitat for grizzly bears, which outrank us on the food chain. As for New England–well, you saw “Jaws,” didn’t you?
Sharks are not the only legless dangers out there. Poisonous snakes abound throughout the Sun Belt, ranging from aggressive water moccasins to brightly striped coral snakes, whose venom is disconcertingly similar to the cobra’s. Rattlesnakes are found throughout the Rockies and many points east, often in scary abundance.
The Land of Lincoln is not entirely free of such hazards, but it’s about as close as you can get. The only bears are the ones at Soldier Field. Though some experts say Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan have seen a modest comeback by mountain lions (also known as cougars, pumas and panthers), sightings in Illinois have been exceedingly rare. The only wild animal known to have attacked people lately is a female deer at Southern Illinois University that apparently was defending her fawn.
But reptiles are a negligible problem. You could find a few water moccasins and copperheads in southern Illinois, but you’d have to look hard. Rattlesnakes have no more than token representation. Venomous lizards? Only in zoos. Truth is, our winters are even tougher on cold-blooded species than on warm-blooded ones.
So any Floridians who have grown leery of the local fauna and are considering alternatives should take two things into consideration when it comes to Illinois. First, there will be no alligators lurking outside your door. And second, even if there were, you can be confident that most of the year, the weather will keep you inside.
